| ||
I know we all have our pregnant complaints, demands, mood swings, and emotional outrages, but we need to remember that we aren't the only ones going through the motions. I hear a lot of women on here talking about men and how they don't know how hard it is to do certain things anymore and how they expect too much from them. It's very selfish to complain about having to cook and clean for them. It's what they expect. They are feeling very neglected right now. Something is going on INSIDE our bodies that they can't share in some senses. I honestly think some men turn into bigger babies when you are pregnant. They also know, especially if their 2nd fathers, that their needs are going to be neglected especially after the baby is here. They go sooo un appreciated for all the big and small things they do sometimes. Lets remember ladies, father's day is tomorrow. Think about some of the jobs that our men hold. Construction, plumbing, electrician, of a demanding office job. Don't you think they would much rather be with you at home spending time with their family than doing manual labor to keep you in home and clothes and take care of your kids. Come on ladies? Would you really be able to switch jobs with your man? I mean we get pregnant and feel like we need to be taken care of and have our feet rubbed and have our man do every little thing we ask, and they DARE NOT ask us to cook or clean or iron for them at all because we are pregnant! WRONG! They still need to be just as apprecitated as they were before. You should all go get this book, it will help your marriage or relationship. It's called "The Proper Care and Feeding of your husband" by dr. laura. If you could only see how much power we women really do have, it just takes care and apprecitation of them for ALL they do. Let's all remember this for from now on and especially tomorrow. It's HIS day to be taken care of and appreciated.   | ||
| ||
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha XoXo Steffi
| ||
| ||
Wow. Well, I appreciate your opinion. But there is another side to the story. I took two years off of work to care for our young son and follow my husband around while he advanced in his career. I respect the sacrifices he has made but I fully expect him to respect my own sacrifices for the family, too. I find it interesting that women should feel "lucky" stay at home to raise children. That is no small task and comes at great sacrifice. What about the many women, such as myself, who worked herself through undergraduate and graduate coursework with not a dime of assistance from anyone. Who worked her tail off in a corporate environment in a "man's world", working long hours and sometimes weekends to move up the ladder. Who also saved for a down payment on her first home and purchased it with no assistance from anyone. Many women come into marriage with assets to share and no debt. Mind you, this all takes many years to accomplish. And when children come along, we may choose and/or be in a situation to stay home with our child(ren). And yet we are not respected for our willingness to put our career or other goals (outside of child rearing) on the back burner for an unspecified time. I am not a feminist but I do believe that women are undervalued in our society. A stay at home mom does work just as hard as someone who works outside of the home (I have done both). And women who work outside of the home still end up with the majority of the household chores and child rearing, anyway. So no break there. While I certainly don't expect my husband to rub my feet and wait on me hand and foot I do expect him to recognize the work I do, too. I still do the laundry (my husband ruins everything), the cooking (my husband can burn water), and shopping (we’d end up with ramen noodles and mac n cheese every night) while working a full time professional position. Oh, and I’m carrying my husband’s next child. But there are many other things I expect of out my husband to contribute to the household. I thank him for his hard work and I certainly expect a thank you on occasion, too. Women who stay at home (or anyone for that matter) should not feel or be made to feel as if they are subservient to a man. We are equals, doing equally important work. The duties may be split up in different ways depending on the needs of the family, but they are all important to the family as a whole. Men will not respect that unless women respect their importance in society and the family, too.
Off the soap box now... | ||
| ||
You said exactly what is in that book. I totally agree. | ||
| ||
I'm all for my DH. He's an awesome man and does things for me even with I'm the witchiest (with a B) woman in the world... It's very selfish to complain about having to cook and clean for them. It's what they expect. Sorry, but my DH doesn't EXPECT anything out of me. He knows how sick I am and he knows how hard it can be staying at home all day with a 2 year old. I have worked out of the home and now I'm a SAHM and I will tell you that it's the hardest job I have ever had the privledge of expierencing. There are 3 kinds of men IMO... the ones who demand, expect and appreciate. My husband leaves the house at 4:30AM every day and I am up at 4AM making his breakfast and lunch. Does he expect it, no and thanks me every single day for his crappy sandwiches. I stay at home with our DS and is our house clean? Heck no and guess what my husband doesn't say a WORD if there are still dishes in the sink from the night before. DH has been known to wear the same pants to work the next day simply because I didn't have the energy to wash clothes. Has he ever gotten upset? Nope, just glad that he had clean undies and socks. My DH respects everything I do whether is everything or absolutely nothing. I don't think I was trying to be mean or anything, honestly I'm kind of lost thanks to pregnancy brain... I know know I saw that one statement and had to respond. I am thankful for my DH and I wish that all women (and men) were treated beautifully and respected the way they should be.
ETA: I'm laughing at all of my errors... I'm not even going to fix them because that's how exhausted I am. Rachael   Edited 3:08 PM by Kaleb'sM0mmy | ||
| ||
My name is Foxox, I am male- identified. I do what "men" expect me to do because I am desperate for man's approval. I am pregnant, but it doesn't matter that I am tired. Dh expects dinner at 6 and I wouldn't want my "man" to be dissapionted in me. We should appriciated those man in our lives if they deserve it. I always apprieciate my self respect. I apprieciate not being a slave. I apprieciate not having any expectations put upon me by my Dh. I appriectiate fellow women who are pregnant and have felt like crap. I do not apprieciate Foxox because she is not thinking about fellow woman and sisterhood. She is thinking about brotherhood and being apart of their club. She had really interesting things to say on another bulletin wrote by a woman, whose husband called her fat and lazy because she didn't iron his shirt. Foxox makes me sick because she reminds me of woman who don't like other woman. Who puts the blame on woman because men are just innocent children. | ||
| ||
Foxox- I once again agree with you. I am so tired of the womens movement. It really makes me worried about society in general. Women do not apprieciate themselves or our duties as women. I truly belive alot of what is wrong with this world, is that women have taken themselves out of the home and demanded to be treated like men. I really feel like women have lost their way i the pursute of trying to have it all. And the ones who have suffered are children and the family dynamic. My dh works as an ironworker and builds power plants. It is a very very physically demanding job and he comes home exhausted every night. Yet he still helps out with the kids and what is left to do around the house. I am expected to do certain things like cook and laundry but he is also expected to go out everyday to work and work like a mule. His main contribution to the family is his work and paycheck. I expect him to bring home a decent paycheck so I can raise the children and take care of the family. I am not "stuck in the 50's" as some people will say. I believe that I have the right to be treated with respet and kindess from my husband and he should make himself worthy of me. Just as I should of him. I know I am in the minority in my thinking and I am okay with that. What works for me may not work for you and vice versa. This is just my opinion and it is what has worked for me and my family for the last 6 years.
Heather  | ||
| ||
You just don't get it. It isn't about approval. It isn't about being their buddy or joining the mens club. It isn't about putting them on a pedistal. It isn't about cooking or cleaning or ironing. It's about appreciation for their hard work and relfecting their hard work in the things we do for them. No doubt being a stay at home mother is hard, but there is always time for dinner (what do your kids eat? BBJ?) and I am NOT always the one cooking either. My husband is a great cook. Obviously your taking what I am saying the wrong way. Wouldn't you like to cook meals to satisfy your husband and children as well as yourself? Don't you like having clean clothes and a clean house? Don't you like having your husband look respectible in his shirts? My boyfriend expects nothing and gets everything he deserves, not what he asks for, because I appreciate him. I show him how much I appreciate him for what he does, by doing these things for him. We both have full time jobs, we both split the work. We both rub each others back. It is in NO WAY one sided. I find the more things I do to show him he is appreciated, without argument or complaint, the more willing and eager he is to help and satisfy my needs. I have the power in my relationship to have my boyfriend treat me the way I deserve to be treated. It's simple. And if you don't get it, and just want to keep saying how male-identified I am, then I feel sorry for you, you feminist. Your the reason men leave their wives. You lose the ideals and values of being one with someone. You expect because your pregnant your going to sit back and watch him do all the work and not be bothered by it? Give me a break. | ||
| ||
"Your the reason men leave their wives." That's just uncalled for and a bit childish as was the previous post. Rachael | ||
| ||
It's true. Women want to keep seeing themselves as equals. It is human nature for a man to be the bread winner. The one who brings home the bacon, and to devaule him, and unappreciate him and force him to be equal and share chores... come on! Do you think he goes bragging to his friends??? "Oh yeah steve I do the dishes and the laundry and the cooking and cleaning and I even take care of the kids cause my wife doesn't want to or doesn't know how and we are equals" hmmmm says alot about you. | ||
| ||
okay ladies this thread was a continuation of my original post.... hint the relevance of ironing and cleaning....First of all MRS. FOXOX you OWE me an apology for saying "maybe she's lazy comment".....I guess you are woman enough right!!... AND FOR THE LADIES WHO ARE AGREEING WITH HER:: Read my original post "DH called me fat in an argument : need to vent" read her post and how she insulted me when she doesnt even know me...I think maybe we should end all this crap honestly please....marriage also is a team thing...a man shouldn't tell us things and we follow like a slave...Slavery and belittling woman decades are over...You treat people like how you wanted to be treated...And MRS. FOXOX you judged me like a B****, so I'm treating you like a B****, until you woman up!! I'm not being mean FOXOX, but you extremely offended me...and now you have nothing to say!!!   | ||
| ||
Apologize? Why don't you go apologize to your husband/boyfriend? Since you have all this time to sit on the internet when you could be doing some of that housework that seems to be so hard for some of you. Yet you have time to sit and complain on the internet? Makes perfect sense. You are sooo busy with this and that but your on the computer for hours doing this and probably myspace. Go iron some damn shirts. Lazy! You won't be getting any apologie here. Except to your child who has to go through crap like this cause you want to "stay together for the kids". How ridiculous! | ||
| ||
Here is the problem I have with women expecting the man to be the breadwinner without the woman having the ability to support herself first (i.e. get an education and have work experience): What do you do if your husband becomes disabled, dies, or leaves you? There may be some insurance money or token child support. But that will not be enough to financially sustain raising children. To me, and this is my (very strong) opinion, a woman has the responsibility to be able to support her children, as much as a man could, before she plans to have them. It also serves the woman well so that if she ends up in an abusive relationship she has the ability and means to leave without feeling financially bound. There is nothing wrong with a strong, capable, self-sufficient woman. There is nothing detrimental about the “women’s movement”. Many well-educated, experienced women decide to stay at home to raise their children. It is about providing yourself with every opportunity in life, as well as the capability to provide for your children…and be as equally appreciated for it as a man is.
| ||
You have a very valid point and I agree that women should have a plan in action for the "what ifs" or "just in cases". For me, that means continuing my education in the field of early childhood development. I have plans to open a daycare, but am waiting until my childen are in school and I have time to devote to that. I personally feel I need to be at home right now with my family. I feel like it is the best start that I could give my children. Heather | ||
| ||
I would just like to say this debate is ####. This board is supposed to be about support, not to bash one another about views and opinions. If there is one time that we as women can be selfish and think of ourselves FOR ONCE! It is when we are pregnant, because we are doing no small task and that is growing a living being inside us.  | ||
| ||
Wow, all I have to say is I never realized that people like that still exist! I was raised in a time and country where I am treated as an equal. Besides, just because your husband might have a demanding job, doesn't mean that in some relationships it is not the woman with the more demanding job. This is just sad. I hope that you don't raise your child whether a son or daughter to feel that same way! XoXo Steffi
| ||
| ||
heehee! I better go clean my house before my husband leaves me! Ha! Rachel Lucky wife since January 17, 2004
 | ||
| ||
This is the reason I have a maid. She's awesome almost like a secondary spouse or a clone of what I used to be like. She irons, cleans, and let's me get out of the house a few hours kid free, do schoolwork, etc. I'm a better wife because I have this luxury. I was told once by a relative the way to keep a man happy is keep his house clean, belly full, and balls empty. Tacky I know, lol! Scary though that a lot of women still believe this way. What about the ladies? Let's not get caught up in the drama. Jen  | ||
| ||
Please, keep coming up with excuses and reasons to be lazy. I love it. | ||
| ||
Foxox- Please explain to me what is lazy about holding down a fulltime job, making a sweet child, and keeping your house fairly decent?! Sorry but I must have missed that memo? Excuse me while I go spread my laziness...which I am not saying I am out there running marathons, but for someone who claims to hate laziness...you sure do spend a lot of time on BBC starting drama haha maybe you should go dust instead! otherwise your husband might leave you! XoXo Steffi
|
| ||
I'm lurking from the December board (due December 1st, but my c/s is in November). I just wanted to say that this child is obviously a troll. All she wants is to cause drama on the board and get everyone all worked up. All her "opinions" are by a long-stretch backed up by Dr. Phil and Dr. Laura Christina EDD ~ December 1, 2008 mommy to Carson ~ April 18, 2005
  | ||
| ||
Just so you all know, I have reported both this attack response thread and the original post thread to the BBC Gods. Anyone with any sense will let this and the other thread die (aka no more posting so that it will get burried). Let's get back to being supportive and ignore those that are starting (or continuing drama). That's not what this board is supposed to be about.
Jenny - James' and Tiny Turkey's Mom
| ||
| ||
THEY are unappreciated?!?!?!?! What are you on lady? How about the women who work, come home, cook, clean, take care of the kids, do the laundry, dished, bath the kids, and all of the other things that are involved in being a mom? I cook dinner for my husband because I want to, because he works later than me and I have to cook for me and my kids anyway. NOT because it is expected out of me. Maybe you think you have the picture perfect relationship because you bend over for your husband whenever he asks you too, but you need to get into the real world honey or you will be sorely disappointed when you actually do get married someday. Lisa
| ||
| ||
Wow. Someone has issues. Can't believe you would come on the nov. board. Your house must be awful looking. Can't believe u have THAT much time on your hands. | ||
| ||
She called me a feminist, what if if my husband finds out, Huh! I can't cook either. I burn Mac and cheese. Is my Dh going to leave me now? I am just so bad a being a woman. Bad me, bad me. I guess I need to take some notes from Stepford Wives;) Hey Foxox, do you need your boyfriend to tell you who to vote for? | ||
| Message 4940.26 was deleted |
| ||
Your a sad woman | ||
| ||
Ladies, This thread is being closed pending review by your regular moderator. Have a great weekend!
Laura Pope Community Moderator laura.pope@babycenter.com |
No comments:
Post a Comment