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From: angela1435
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164508.1
So we have an 8 week old daughter and the past few weeks we have been less than careful when having sex. I have an appointment tomorrow to get on birth control but what we have been doing is having sex without a condom for most of the sex and then he pulls out, puts on a condom and then we finish doing the deed. Still haven't gotten a period after having my daughter and I'm just a bit nervous.........anyone ever been in this situation or have gotten pregnant in this way??? I know it is possible.........just not sure how probable it is.............thanks!
Angela
Date: Mar-27
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From: MomTo2GorgeousGirls
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164508.2
Your kidding, right??? Isn't this something we learned in 10th grade health class??
Date: Mar-27
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From: mi*vida*loca
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164508.3
That's why it's called pull and PRAY. Emphasis on the pray part!
Nikki
Date: Mar-27
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From: Sugar Pants
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164508.4
It's very very probable.
My Personal Blog: J and C and Me
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Date: Mar-27
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From: JenniferL12
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164508.5
Oh come on!
-Jennifer. Alex's wife and mother to Alden Carter
Date: Mar-27
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From: angela1435
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164508.6
Like I said, I know it is possible........I'm not that stupid........:)
Just trying to find some support grom someone who has been in the situation.
Thanks!
angela
Date: Mar-27
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From: stacy_24
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164508.7
To answer your question -- yep.
Stacy
Date: Mar-27
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From: JNM*Mom
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164508.8
Yep, he's almost 14.
JNM*Mom~ married to dh for 12 yrs + 3 boys + 2 dogs + 1 cat
Date: Mar-27
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From: Panda123
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164508.9
Here you go. Are you breast feeding? That will help too. If you really don't want to get pregnant you should try harder to prevent it. If you don't care if you get pregnant again so soon, then go to town.
Date: Mar-27
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From: *ILostCount*
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164508.10
Yeah, twice. #3 and #4. And not from a whole month of pulling out either. ONE time each.
Ethan 4/00 Carter 9/02 Alaina 3/04 Griffin 12/05 TL 12-15-05TR 2-22-08
Date: Mar-27
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From: ILuvMikey+Shy+LittleBoo
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164508.11
I have a dear friend who is a slow learner, that ended up with 3 kids and a M/C in 5 years that way.
Amy
See my profile for GPT referral links!
Date: Mar-27
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From: mommytoE,N,E
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164508.12
Yep my 6 yr old
Date: Mar-27
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From: 3beachbums4me
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164508.13
Um yea pull and pray doesn't work, I found out the hard way 3 times, guess I didn't pray hard enough lol
Kelli
Date: Mar-27
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From: creamedcorn
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164508.14
Yes...
FOUR TIMES!!!!
I'm a slow learner LOL!! We love all of them but I'll be darned if not one was planned.
I hate BC pills and DH hates 'gloves'. My OB said that people who practice the 'pull out' method are destined to be parents.
CC
Date: Mar-27
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From: angela1435
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164508.15
Ok, so I haven't gotten my period yet so there is now way to know if I'm "late" or anything............when do you guys think I should start being concerned??
Angela
Date: Mar-27
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From: famoffive75
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164508.16
Three times in 11 years of being married. I have 3 kids. LOL.
Date: Mar-27
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From: naavveed
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164508.17
I've been married for 6 yrs and we've been together a little more than 7 yrs.. that's what we've done the whole time. But we seem to have trouble getting pregnant anyway.. took a 1 1/2 of trying to get pregnant with dd and we've been trying for almost a year for a second.
Deb
Date: Mar-27
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From: 4girls1ocky1ollie
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164508.18
Yeah, 3 times! BUT we don't do the pull and pray until the baby is atleast 8 months.
We want a big family though so it doesn't really matter that much.
Jaime
mom to: Cloe(^I^) 11, Zoey 10, Piper 7, Oscar 5, Scout Phoebe 2 +
Date: Mar-27
To: angela1435
From: GraceMomof 2
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164508.19
You are supposed to be your most fertile in the months after giving birth.
Grace
Stop touching me!!!
"Never marry for money. You can borrow it cheaper."
Date: Mar-27
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From: Chocolate_Malt
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164508.20
just go buy a few tests and take them every few days, and ask the dr to do a test tomorrow before you start any birth control.
Date: Mar-27
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From: JoeyandSam
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164508.21
I have 2 pull out and pray children. I also only have 2 children. Add me to the list of slow learners, that is why I now have an IUD which I lovingly call my own personal privacy fence.
Brenna
Date: Mar-27
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From: Mom to Harry & Jack
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164508.22
Yes!! My last son, Jack, was a pull and pray baby.
Harrison Walker 9/6/04Jackson Bishop 3/7/07
Date: Mar-27
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From: PickleLovingPrincess
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164508.23
LOL, ask 97% of the pregnant teens in America.
Date: Mar-27
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From: duster902
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164508.24
I got pregnant using the pull out method. I miscarried but I definitely got pregnant.
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Date: Mar-27
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From: mom2d_and_livvie
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164508.25
ok, we do what the OP is talking about. Not pull and pray but DH doesn't always glove up until he's about ready. It's been working just fine for 2yrs now. We also have a pull and pray baby..he's 2 now! LOL
Date: Mar-27
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From: sparkilini
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164508.26
This is how I concieved my second son... who is due in just a few weeks. My first son will only be 11 months old (at most!) when he is born so if that gives you any idea...
The withdrawal method just does not work. I ended up finding out I was pregnant when my son was 2 months old. I never had a period, either. They had to do an ultrasound just to figure out how far along I was. Turns out, pretty much the FIRST TIME we DTD after I had my son is when I got preggo.
So... if you don't want to have more kids yet, either wear the glove or abstain until you get on the pill... I guess this is more for future reference as obviously you do plan on getting on the pill soon - for your sake I hope it's soon enough!
--- Mary
My blog: sparkilini.blogspot.com
Date: Mar-27
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From: piercedpixie
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164508.27
yes!test!Incidentally, my sister is a Hayley Marie
Date: Mar-27
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From: LeapDayMommy
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164508.28
I have a 4 year old son courtesy of the PO method... not that we really thought that we were doing THAT great of a job preventing anything....
Vickie- Mommy to Ayden 2/29/04
[img]http://images.meez.com/user14/06/02/08/060208_10012104015.gif[/img]
Date: Mar-27
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From: audreysmom1225
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164508.29
A glove at the end will not catch the pre ejaculate. Duh! No bc, no sex. Yes, I was young & stupid, never again.
Kristy
Date: Mar-27
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From: **~Mrs.McLovin+4~**
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164508.30
Yep. My 16 mo. old dd is our pull and pray baby. I got pregnant with her when my older dd was only 7 months. And dh was suppose to get a Vasectomy after dd#1 was born.
mi*vida*loca x 5
Date: Mar-27
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From: ~LuvMySoldier~
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164508.31
Yes, she will be 5 in June.Even after he pulled out I put some spermicide stuff in me to hopefully help, nope!
Date: Mar-27
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From: my*cheeky*monkey
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164508.32
This month is a bit of a nail biter for us thanks to the ole P&P Method! Good Luck!
Don't get all Upper-Middle class about it!- BH words to live by...
Tracy
Date: Mar-27
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From: Momma's Going Bananas
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164508.33
Our 4 year old is a P&P baby. We weren't ready to full on try yet but not really trying to prevent that hard either. P&P did work for 9 months for us .
Date: Mar-27
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From: Laurieb/gtwinsanddd
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164508.34
okay, I think I am going to be sick! you ladies that got pg, by doing the pull and pray, were you doing it for a long time, before your dh/so pulled out or did anyone get preggo by just having sex without a condom for like only a minute? I hope you can't get pg. for doing it without a condom just for like 30 seconds, because if so I think I'm going to puke! my h and I are seperated but um still "friendly" and sometimes I will let him put it in for just a few seconds before he puts on the condom. he said he didn't um you know, and I believe him, because it was only for like 30 seconds, and he doesn't um you know that fast, but I hope I'm just being paranoid about this, because if I am preggo I am going to strangle his a$$!Laurie
Date: Mar-27
To: All
From: pastachic
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164508.35
And this is why we need SEX ED IN SCHOOLS... People still believe that the pull and pray method works... talksexwithsue.com
Date: Mar-27
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From: cepbush106
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164508.36
Laurie: I don't think guys can feel when they pre ejaculate??? Depending on how turned on the guy is, they may right away, first time in.
Pre ejaculate is there to help lube things up for action, so I doubt that the time inside matters...
To the original question, DS is a pull out baby.
Erin
Date: Mar-27
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From: travelfamily
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164508.37
You're SEPERATED and using this method?!?! Pre-ejaculate comes out as soon as a man has an erection and continues throughout intercourse. If you aren't even in a relationship right now you think you'd be using condoms, spermacide AND the pill!
Date: Mar-27
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From: Betcea
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164508.38
If it makes you feel any better DH and I used P&P for a year and a half and it worked fine... That being said it wasn't a big deal if I did get pregnant in that time, that's why we only used that, but when we were ready I got pregnant right away. So don't stress to much, but I would start using another method unless its not a big deal if you get pregnant.
~Betsy~Isaac Phillip - 1/22/08
Date: Mar-27
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From: EricalynnC
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164508.39
3rd on the way! Good thing we know it isn't reliable and we are letting nature take its course. After the 4th one DH is getting the "V."
Erica- Mama to 2 bears and one on the way!
Date: Mar-27
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From: Mommy Shayna
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164508.40
Um...actually no...that is our prefered/only method of BC...no 'hats' or BC pills or IUDs here...Between allergies, the hormones and our personal beliefs we cannot find a form of BC that works for us other than this.
BUT we combine it with natural family planning so if I am ovulating...hands off. The only two pregnancies we have ever had were very planned. We also have the understanding in our relationship that if we have an ooops baby it will be ok.
HTH!
ShaynaKaitlin Kay 5-29-04Baby Benjamin edd 5-29-04
Date: Mar-27
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From: PinkyLeigh83
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164508.41
If birth control and/or condoms don't do the trick every time pulling out DEFINITELY won't do it!
Date: Mar-27
To: angela1435
From: stacnj
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164508.42
That's exactly how we got our DD. She was our little surprise and we couldn't imagine life without her now.
Date: Mar-27
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From: pastachic
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164508.43
I am still in shock people actually believe this method is a sure fire way to prevent babies... FYI you can get pregnant on non-fertile days. I did. I used a condom and it broke. http://www.amazingpregnancy.com/pregnancy-articles/250.htmlhttp://www.mayoclinic.com/health/birth-control/AN00197
Yes, a woman can get pregnant even when ejaculation doesn't occur within the vagina. This is because pre-ejaculation fluid may contain some sperm.
Withdrawal of the penis from the vagina before ejaculation is one of the oldest methods of birth control. But fewer than 4 percent of adults in the United States use it as their primary method of contraception. The failure (pregnancy) rate is high. About 27 percent of women who rely on the withdrawal method of birth control become pregnant each year.http://www.teenwire.com/ask/2007/as-20070604p1517-sperm.php
Date: Mar-27
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From: PodBabyMom
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164508.44
We have used the "don't mix ingredients" or pull out method since 1994 and we have not had any slip ups. When we got pregnant it was because we decided not to pull out and see what happens. I got pregnant within 2 months. If used correctly in accordance with your cycle to be careful around fertile times it works quite well.
MichelleMason 8/25/05
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Date: Mar-27
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From: Chocolate_Malt
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164508.45
PP - Why on earth are you having unprotected sex with your separated husband? He may not ejaculate, but I am fairly sure men do not feel the pre-ejaculate (which is still full of sperm!) that just kind of dribbles out.
For anyone - If you don't want to be pregnant - USE BIRTH CONTROL CORRECTLY AND CONSISTENTLY. Geez.
Date: Mar-27
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From: *McDreamy*
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164508.46
pulling out has worked great for us for almost 6 years. Our two babies were both very much planned. But we use the pull out method because we aren't 100% trying to not get pregnant. We are indifferent to it (and have been since we got married) so that is why we use it. If we didn't want to get pregnant at all we would definitely use something else. But, it has worked great for us.
my-calorie-counter.com The webs free Calorie Counter
Date: Mar-27
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From: Wattyz
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164508.47
My friend nearby had two pgs this way.
Possible congrats to you!
Date: Mar-27
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From: Kelipso
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164508.48
Looks like Shayna and I are in the minority here LOL.
I've been using the pull-out method with my husband for nearly 7 years now and we've never had an unplanned pregnancy. We have never used condoms, bc pills, IUD, etc, just pull-out. We're not naiive to the statistics, and we know that pre-ejaculate can cause pregnancy. So, we're ok if we have an "oops" baby. But in 7 years it has never failed us LOL. Out of the 2 kids we have, the first one we didn't use any method and he came along (no suprise!), and the second kid was very planned.
~Kelsey~
Date: Mar-27
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From: tavsmummy
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164508.49
Dh and I have been using the pull-out method (if it really is a method .. lol) for 8+ yrs and no mistakes. However, I had a very hard time conceiving my 2nd child and suffered several miscarriages in the process.
I'm allergic to latex and BCP make me INSANE!!
However, DH just had a vasectomy yesterday because we are happy w/our 2 children and know that our "method" isn't worth the risk of having an unplanned pregnancy.
Tanya
Date: Mar-27
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From: Mommyto12004
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164508.50
I have gotten pregnant with the pull out method too. I just wanted to let you know though that I didn't even get a period until my son was almost two years old. *If* you are bf you might not get a period for quite awhile. Anyways, hope things work out for you.
I have long since come to believe that people never mean half of what they say, and that it is best to disregard their talk and judge only their actions. ~ Dorthy Day~
Date: Mar-27
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From: Mommy Shayna
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164508.51
I'm allergic to latex and BCP make me INSANE!!
However, DH just had a vasectomy yesterday because we are happy w/our 2 children and know that our "method" isn't worth the risk of having an unplanned pregnancy.
These are exactly our problems and our plan. I am glad to see there are a few others out there that this works for. I always feel like a freakshow when the OB wants to know what my BC plan is after the baby....
And don't hate if our BC method is a bargain LOL!
DH and I have been using this method off and on for at least 8ish years. Sometimes I would go on the pill because I was being a freak about getting preggers...well 24-7 ubber PMS is not the way I want to live my life TYVM!
ShaynaKaitlin Kay 5-29-04Baby Benjamin edd 5-15-08
Date: Mar-27
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From: Laurieb/gtwinsanddd
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164508.52
I know, I know! I SHOULDN'T be doing anything with him, but I turn to mush when I am around him, and my hormones take over and I can't think straight and we can't keep our hands off of eachother! I seriously do need help! I have no will power when it comes to him! he has talked about getting the big V, and I sooooo wish he would! I don't want to do anything permanet myself, since I am only 29, and if I do get remarried some day, I might like to have another baby. I was on Depo before but got off it since my dr. cautioned me about the risk of bone loss while being on it, and was on the pill before but had awful problems with it! he is only 27, but has 5 kids already and doesn't want anymore. I seriously need to distance myself from him and not put myself in these situations! Laurie
Date: Mar-27
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From: PickleLovingPrincess
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164508.53
DH and I have been using the pull and pray method for 9 years now. We have had 2 pregnancies, both planned. I want another one, he doesnt. I told him until he gets a V I'm not losing hope. I hope it happens but 6-8 months from now.
Date: Mar-27
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From: PickleLovingPrincess
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164508.54
He is 27 with 5 kids! Im guessing he is an ex for a reason. Are any of them yours?
Date: Mar-27
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From: my*cheeky*monkey
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164508.55
Wow! Thank Goodness you are here Pastachic to enlighten all of us on how uneducated we are when it comes to sex. Have you taught sex ed also?
I forgot...you are the authority on everything. Go away! Wait, I take that back, first tell me to grow up and get a life! I love that one, it never gets old.
Don't get all Upper-Middle class about it!- BH words to live by...
Tracy
Date: Mar-27
To: my*cheeky*monkey
From: PickleLovingPrincess
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164508.56
If I hear one more time her son wasn't planned, I'm going to scream!!!
Date: Mar-27
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From: my*cheeky*monkey
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164508.57
Please, she just can't help herself
Don't get all Upper-Middle class about it!- BH words to live by...
Tracy
Date: Mar-27
To: All
From: teeg1973
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164508.58
We have done pull and pray for many years successfully. The three times i have gotten pregnant were surprises, but they were from when we didn't pull (and when we thought it was too early in the cycle to be concerned, but apparenly his swimmers can last a LONG time!).Good luck to you,TracyDD 9/06
Date: Mar-27
To: All
From: Team_Testosterone
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164508.59
I'm in the minority, too...at least on this board. Dh and I used the "pull and pray" method of bc for several years before conceiving our oldest son and when we ceased pulling we got pregnant about 4 months later. We then used it between our sons and the one month we stopped we got pregnant. After him we used it for 3 years with no unexpected pregnancies until one night after a wedding when we were a little tipsy and forgot to 'pull' and here I am due in May. So, it has worked like a charm for us. As a side note, I think my dh is really "good at it" if there is such a thing...I just think he has a lot of control in that area. Anyway, there was a post about this on the May '08 board a while back and there were 3 pages of posts with most people saying that the method worked for them for years.
Date: Mar-27
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From: Laurieb/gtwinsanddd
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164508.60
yeah my 3 are all his. he was 18 when our 1st dd was born, and I was 20. he also has 2 with the girl he's with now, they are 4 yrs old, and 1 yr old. funny he left me for her, but is now always hanging around me!
Date: Mar-27
To: All
From: Mrs_D78
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164508.61
*snickers*
To the OP, yes I am pretty sure both of our dd's we pull outs. With our first I had depo and we just let it run out and I figured I'd have up to a year and a haf to figure what other method I would like to use. Nope, not so much we got pregnant with our first my df (now dh) was 18 and I was 20 so you'd figure I'd know better but that's neither here nor there.
Anyway, with our second I was waiting to get on bcp because I was out of free samples and we had just moved and I wasn't able to get in sooner. Anyway, I went there and they sent me home to wait for AF and if I didn't get it within a week or two to come back. So I came back and they gave me a pregnancy test just to be sure I wasn't. I was The girls are 13 months apart.
In my world, everyone's a pony, and they eat rainbows and poop butterflies!
Date: Mar-27
To: All
From: piercedpixie
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164508.62
i forgot to add, i EBF both girls and got my period back 4 weeks exactly after birth with both
Date: Mar-27
To: Laurieb/gtwinsanddd
From: PickleLovingPrincess
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164508.63
Wow, he really sounds like a winner. So hes still with her and you are sleeping with him? I'm guessing he doesnt use a condom with her either, that's just plain nasty in my book.
Did you post on the "Are you the other woman" thread?
Edited Mar-27 by PickleLovingPrincess
Date: Mar-27
To: All
From: spacezebra
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164508.64
Mine is 3 and 1/2. It was the only time we did that "method" and the only accidental pregnancy I ever had.
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Date: Mar-27
To: All
From: graciesmom9
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164508.65
Well, for as many people here saying they used the P&P method with great success, there are more saying it didn't work (multiple times!). You can add me to that list. He's 19 months.
An average woman without fertility problems has a 15-25% of concieving during a given month without birth control and under perfect circumstances so I'm hesitant to attribute the successful users' success to the method only. It obviously can make pregnancy somewhat more unlikely, but it's not a particularly effective method in and of itself. Combined with NFP, sure, I can see that, but I think the NFP deserves more credit. I'm pretty sure ost if not all of the posters who use P&P successfully use it in combination with NFP.
If you really, really don't want to get pregnant and are not open to another child at this point, you need to be more careful.
Yeah, sleeping with your ex while he's with another girl, especially with all those small children involved? Yuck!
Date: Mar-27
To: All
From: Mommy Shayna
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I think my dh is really "good at it" if there is such a thing...
Hehehee...My DH calls it the 'switch'...on for babies...off for no babies. Please! I just roll my eyes at him.
I remember that thread from May 2008...I thought it was here though...
ShaynaKaitlin Kay 5-29-04Baby Benjamin edd 5-15-08
Date: Mar-27
To: All
From: beckyirene1
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This is an interesting thread. Dh and I use the P&P method with no oops. We have 5 kids very closely spaced and they were all planned (five in six years) so I think that speaks to having no fertility problems. For our sixth we decided to adopt, continue to use that method (going on three years now) and have had no accidental pregnancies. Beckyirene
Date: Mar-27
To: All
From: *ILostCount*
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I hate to say this since you dont WANT to be pregnant, but it really does not matter if he ejaculates or if you used a condom for 99% of the sex. There are sperm in pre ejaculate and as you know, you only need ONE of the potentially millions of sperm that is getting in there to knock you up again. So he can wear a condom for all but 30 seconds and if you are ovulating, you might be pregnant. Like I said, we had pull out sex exactly TWICE and got TWO babies from it. And he DEFINATELY pulled out in time.
Ethan 4/00 Carter 9/02 Alaina 3/04 Griffin 12/05 TL 12-15-05TR 2-22-08
Date: Mar-27
To: All
From: iamtoni78
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My ex and I were married for 9 years, only had 2 planned pregnancies, and the pull out method is all we ever used.I think it may have alot to do with your SO's boys, and your internal enviroment as to whether or not it will work well.
Temperance or Justice arriving sometime in MAY!!
Date: Mar-27
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From: Laurieb/gtwinsanddd
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um no I didn't reply to the are you the other woman thread, because technicaly I'm not, the girl he is with is. I am STILL his wife. we haven't talked about divorce. yeah some people might think the situation I have with my h is really weird, and I know some will never understand it, but it is what it is. I have my sweet kids because of him, and he is far from perfect and I am far from perfect too, but I still really love and care about him and always will. I know no one can understand this, but I would rather have it this way where I can still see him and be with him, then not be with him at all anymore. Laurie
Date: Mar-27
To: All
From: *ILostCount*
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Oh and yeah double ick on the he's sleeping with her and you. That's really nasty. Who knows who all she's sleeping with, or him for that matter. You may want to consider heading to the dr for a pregnancy, HIV, and STD test....
Ethan 4/00 Carter 9/02 Alaina 3/04 Griffin 12/05 TL 12-15-05TR 2-22-08
Date: Mar-27
To: All
From: kurichka
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The withdrawal method works for us, we've been using this method for 16 years with no oops. We have 2 children that are planned. Well, the first one my DH decided for himself that it's time, we were talking that we want kids, and that I would love to have them soon, so he thought that meant "let's do it now". I was 20, oh well thanks G-d, we have our older DS. The second one 100% planned. If you don't want to become pregnant, you have to make sure that your DH KNOWS that. Anna
Date: Mar-27
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From: PickleLovingPrincess
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I was just thinking the same thing. Hes sleeping with 2 of his childrens mothers and god knows who else. Does she know hes sleeping with you? Is she sleeping with someone else? Too many yuckies for me to even think about!
Divorce his azz and get tested.
Date: Mar-27
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From: mommy14138
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We have been using the P&P method for 10 yrs now. None of my girls where accidents all were planned. So the P&P method has worked for us.
Date: Mar-27
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From: my*cheeky*monkey
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Don't get all Upper-Middle class about it!- BH words to live by...
Tracy
Date: Mar-27
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From: travelfamily
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he also has 2 with the girl he's with now
All I have to say is WTF is WRONG women these days!!! You both have kids with this guy, he is sleeping with both of you still, he LEFT YOU FOR SOMEONE ELSE?!?! Geez...why do you think he is the way he is? Because you guys are ENABLERS. He has two women to sleep with...sure he's a happy guy and can't keep his hands off you. Doesn't it make you sick that he leaves you to go do the same thing with someone else? He doesn't care about you cause if he did he would respect you and he doesn't.
Date: Mar-27
To: All
From: LILLLILLY
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We have used P&P for 10 yrs and had NO problem having both dc.
Good Luck! The doc gave me a talking to when I saw her at my PP check up with my last.
Lil
Date: Mar-27
To: All
From: Lisa0114
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Yep, 2 times.
Lisa
Date: Mar-27
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From: PickleLovingPrincess
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I wasn't going to share this but here it goes...
A good friend of mine had a baby in high school with a man. The baby kept getting really sick and they couldn't figure out what was wrong with her. Finally after months and months of hospitalisations they ran a test on her and it came up positive. It was an HIV test. As soon as they found out the baby was HIV positive the dad took off. They tested the mom and she was positive too. The dad knew he had HIV and was sleeping with multiple women in my town with no protection. The last time they counted he had 7 children all born with HIV. The moms all got it from him too. 4 have died, the oldest was my friends daughter. She lived to be 13 years old and died 3 years ago.
Date: Mar-27
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From: Adventures~With~Gretchen
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apparently, i only get pregnant from being on birth control pills.
Date: Mar-27
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From: piercedpixie
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" apparently, i only get pregnant from being on birth control pills."ditto, oh and condoms while breastfeeding, lol
Date: Mar-27
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From: cepbush106
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I know no one can understand this, but I would rather have it this way where I can still see him and be with him, then not be with him at all anymore.
eeewww you're OK with him sticking his penis in someone else and then coming over and messing with you too... WITHOUT condoms??
You better get checked for nasty crotch diseases.
Erin
Date: Mar-27
To: All
From: Sugar Pants
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Laurie, you do realize that he could potentially get both of you pg at the same time. How would you feel if he couldn't be there when you're next baby was born because she was having hers?If you can't do the rational thing (and cut him off!) then at least do the responsible thing and get on the pill. I'd suggest telling him to use a condom, but I can not bear to hear how he doesn't like them and if you don't let him do it without one, he'll just go do it with her.
My Personal Blog: J and C and Me
Date: Mar-27
To: All
From: Help Me Rana
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seriously sex education needs to be required and more in depth. learning a lot here about pre-ejaculate.
“If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.” - Archbishop Desmond Tutu
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Date: Mar-27
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From: The_Voice_of_Reason
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Three of my four are the result of the "pull and pray". I got pregnant with my fourth 12 weeks after my third. I don't recommend using the method long term....
Bloggity Blog
Date: Mar-27
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From: Laurieb/gtwinsanddd
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I know guys, I am stupid. he does use a condom most of the time. he only puts it in for like just a few seconds without a condom every once in a great while. most of the time he always is wearing a condom. she can't get preggo anymore, she had her tubes tied. as far as him not being there when my next baby was born if he did get me preggo, I have already been there done that. he wasn't there when I had the twins. fine by me, he wasn't much help when he was there with me for the birth of our 1st dd. as far as him going back to her, doesn't really bother me. him and I are pretty good friends and get along okay as long as were not with eachother for long periods of time. so he can go and annoy her instead of annoying me. I am going to be having my yearly checkup soon, and will probaly go back on the pill and try that again. actualy I wish he would just leave me alone, but he calls me up all the time and bugs the crap out of me to come over, and I actualy tell him sometimes to just be with her, but he tells me no, he wants to dtd with me. he's so annoying sometimes!Laurie
Date: Mar-27
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From: my*cheeky*monkey
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Here ya go irish...
Don't get all Upper-Middle class about it!- BH words to live by...
Tracy
Date: Mar-27
To: All
From: Sugar Pants
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Laurie - cut. him off.I don't care how much you love him, or how much he begs. HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU. HE DOES NOT RESPECT YOU. You are completely demoralizing yourself for this loser, and setting a really crappy example for your kids on how a healthy relationship is supposed to work.
My Personal Blog: J and C and Me
Date: Mar-27
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From: EricalynnC
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RUN! RUN! RUN! You are never going to find a good man until you cut this one off completely. He is getting his cake and eating it too. Yuck!
Erica- Mama to 2 bears and one on the way!
Date: Mar-27
To: All
From: travelfamily
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164508.90
Niiiice.
Date: Mar-27
To: PickleLovingPrincess
From: Irish128
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Can you imagine the guilt this child will feel one day?
Child says someday: "How old were you when I was born?"
Mom: "Hmmmm, I'll have to think about that, but you were an accident., I meant surprise. Go ask your father."
-Nice, real nice.
Thanks for the b/c lesson. Looks like someone learned the hard way, huh?
Mary-->-->-->
Mommy to: Ian, Macy & Jack
Date: Mar-27
To: All
From: Kathelia
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yep. didn't plan on two either....
Katheryn
Date: Mar-27
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From: Irish128
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OP:
PLEASE...he's got FIVE kids & three of them are yours? This is a trainwreck waiting to happen. What about c/s? Will he keep reproducing if the other girl doesn't work out? What will happen to your dc's c/s?
Please get on the pill, get a shot of depo or stop having sex w/ him. You're creating your future & showing your dd's the example that they will wish to live one day.
And it's called a Bootie call when he comes back around.
Be strong, be firm & take care of YOU. What are you getting out of the booty calls except booty calls, seriously?
KWIM?
Mary-->-->-->
Mommy to: Ian, Macy & Jack
Date: Mar-27
To: All
From: Sarcasm-Is-Free
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Ummm..... 3 of our 4 were concieved that way!
Melissa (formerly 3men&1lil'lady)
Proud mommy
DD 7~06
DS 8~04, DS 9~00, DS 12~95
Date: Mar-27
To: Irish128
From: PickleLovingPrincess
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Can I ask what on earth you are talking about? Im just not following.
Date: Mar-27
To: Laurieb/gtwinsanddd
From: wendifer8
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Laurie,
I don't want this to come of snarky, but seriously - what are you thinking?!? Is this the kind of relationship you want your children to have when they're older - espeically your girls?? You are BY FAR their biggest role model when it comes to relationships, don't mess it up. Your kids deserve better (as do YOU!)
Date: Mar-27
To: All
From: Irish128
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I read through more posts...and I have to chime in (again!)
"he does use a condom most of the time. he only puts it in for like just a few seconds without a condom every once in a great while. most of the time he always is wearing a condom. she can't get preggo anymore, she had her tubes tied. "
1. GROSS. A few seconds is a few seconds TOO many.
2. STDs, HIV & cancer could be coming your way if you don't get tested & make him wrap it up!
3. Sweetie, are you THAT desperate to accept the minimum he's giving you? SERIOUSLY. You've (or your bed or a towel) become a sperm depository. You're allowing this man to have all the fun of a HUSBAND & screw around like a man-ho. He's getting his cake & eating it too (at the other girl's house).
4. Please, please, please go seek counsiling. And if you find a counselor that tells you this is a HEALTHY relationship/situation for both you (mentally, physically & spiritually) & your children; send me the bill! I want to talk to this counselor!
I'm ticked & yet wanting to hug you to say - This is NOT how marriage or a relationship is supposed to be for anyone.
Mary-->-->-->
Mommy to: Ian, Macy & Jack
Date: Mar-27
To: PickleLovingPrincess
From: Irish128
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I forgot to reference the remarks that you & Cheeky were having about another poster posting about her "the condom broke" baby.
KWIM?
Maybe the dog chewed on the condom wrappers before hand...
Mary-->-->-->
Mommy to: Ian, Macy & Jack
Date: Mar-27
To: Irish128
From: PickleLovingPrincess
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LOL, I get it now. Ignore my earlier post, I was all in a huff thinking you were ragging on me because dh and I PNP, LOL. Sorry!
Date: Mar-27
To: All
From: Irish128
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No, I'm sorry! I wasn't at all.
Date: Mar-28
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From: Margots-Mom
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OP, I feel really bad for you. I think you have self-esteem issues. Try to see a counselor, ask your dr to recommend one. Your life will be better when you can get this guy out of it.
Sheri
Date: Mar-28
To: All
From: Chocolate_Malt
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164508.102
To be clear: the OP is NOT the one sleeping with the separated husband who has 5 kids. The OP is angela(numbers), and I am curious to know if she had any resolution? Did you take another test?
Lauriebg/twins (or something along those lines) is merely a respondent in a similar situation in regards to getting pregnant on pull and pray.
I just feel bad for the OP getting all these "OP how can you sleep with this man???" posts when it is a different poster ;-)
As for the other poster... I just can't begin to imagine how the situation seems healthy to you. Your ODD is 9 now, she will start dating boys in a few years, and what kind of example is being set for her?
Date: Mar-28
To: my*cheeky*monkey
From: Pandas*Mom
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164508.103
Tracy - you are my new girl crush! ITA with everything you have said on this thread.
Kathi
Andy 12/20/99 - adopted, autism and celiac disease
Visit my blogs: http://kathi-mygarden.blogspot.com/ & http://kathi-gfcf.blogspot.com/
Date: Mar-28
To: All
From: GraceMomof 2
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I would say that OP is still lying on the floor in shock after finding out that she is pregnant & has an eight week old.
My friend found out she was knocked up at her six week post birth appointment. She was an RN. You would think she would have known better.
Grace
Stop touching me!!!
"Never marry for money. You can borrow it cheaper."
Edited Mar-28 by GraceMomof 2
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Date: Mar-28
To: All
From: Mrs_D78
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Where's the update?
In my world, everyone's a pony, and they eat rainbows and poop butterflies!
Date: Mar-28
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From: metgrl14
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I used this method with an ex many of times and never had a problem. I tried it with current SO and now we will have 2 under 1.
Date: Mar-28
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From: my*cheeky*monkey
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164508.107
No, but my cat did!
Don't get all Upper-Middle class about it!- BH words to live by...
Tracy
Date: Mar-28
To: All
From: planegirl99
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I know guys, I am stupid. he does use a condom most of the time. he only puts it in for like just a few seconds without a condom every once in a great while. most of the time he always is wearing a condom. she can't get preggo anymore, she had her tubes tied. as far as him not being there when my next baby was born if he did get me preggo, I have already been there done that. he wasn't there when I had the twins. fine by me, he wasn't much help when he was there with me for the birth of our 1st dd. as far as him going back to her, doesn't really bother me. him and I are pretty good friends and get along okay as long as were not with eachother for long periods of time. so he can go and annoy her instead of annoying me. I am going to be having my yearly checkup soon, and will probaly go back on the pill and try that again. actualy I wish he would just leave me alone, but he calls me up all the time and bugs the crap out of me to come over, and I actualy tell him sometimes to just be with her, but he tells me no, he wants to dtd with me. he's so annoying sometimes!Laurie
Laurie - seriously - it's called self respect - get some ! If not for yourself, for your kids who are being taught that it's ok for mom and dad to have no morals and that there is no sanctity in marriage. You and his other skank having been sharing a penis for 5 friggin' years now. That is just nasty ! I don't know what else to say - I am almost speechless everytime I read your posts. I cannot fathom how people with your mentality operate on a daily basis raising children. Please stop this and get a divorce already !
Edited Mar-28 by planegirl99
Date: Mar-28
To: All
From: Adventures~With~Gretchen
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calling her a skank and question her ability to function on a daily basis is a bit much, even for you steff. (before anyone corrects me: yes, i can read....saying 'you and his other skank' includes the implication that they are both skanks.)You and his other skank having been sharing a penis for 5 friggin' years now. That is just nasty ! I don't know what else to say - I am almost speechless everytime I read your posts. I cannot fathom how people with your mentality operate on a daily basis raising children.
Date: Mar-28
To: All
From: planegirl99
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I was actually calling the other chick a SKANK, but honestly, sharing a penis with another woman for 5 years and allowing more kids to come out of it is NASTY - I don't think anyone is arguing that. And I don't GET IT - thank GOD I never will...
Date: Mar-28
To: All
From: PickleLovingPrincess
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I agree with the "Self Respect" comment. I wonder if her kids know what the heck is going on? When Daddy picks them up for his visitation do they tell the other woman Daddy comes over and spends time with Mommy?
Date: Mar-28
To: All
From: Laurieb/gtwinsanddd
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I cannot fathom how people with your mentality operate on a daily basis raising children.
I really take offense to this! I am a very loving mother to my children! please do not insinuate that I'm not. for the record, my kids are no where around when I am with him. they are at school. how the heck would they know about my sex life anyways??? I sure as heck keep that private from them! when he is here and they are around, we do not do any kind of kissing or anything like that in front of them. I may not be perfect, and maybe this isn't the best thing, but I am a very caring mother! I don't drink, or do drugs or smoke. I take my kids places and play with them and we have a good time, and if you could see my kids with me you would see they are very happy children, and love me very much and I love them very much. I am sure I am not the only mother that has made some poor choices, but you can guarantee my kids are well taken care of and loved. yes, I make some poor choices, but I am sure I am not the only mother that has made some poor choices. I am a grown women with grown women needs, and sorry a toy does not do it for me, so if it wasn't with my h it would still be with someone else. at least I am comfortable with my h. I do realize that I do have to be more careful about sex though, and will be going back on the pill. you guys can not agree with what I'm doing and that's fine, but when people start putting me down as a mother that's where I draw the line. I am sure you all aren't perfect, and probaly do some things that others probaly wouldn't agree with either.Laurie
Date: Mar-28
To: All
From: planegirl99
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You all know me by now - I call it like I see it. Laurie is teaching her daughter that being a cum receptacle is A-OK and that her son can marry one woman and have a mistress - and having kids with BOTH is also A-OK.
Don't tell me the kids are too young to know what's going on, blah blah blah. They are 9 and 4 - they will do the math SOONER, rather than later and how do you explain the 1/2 brother/sister with his other skank ?
Honestly.
It's foul and no situation that ANY kids should be raised in. And I meant what I said - I have no idea how people can think like that and function as a stable parent. It's not a normal life, it's a friggin' Jerry Springer episode !!!!
Date: Mar-28
To: Laurieb/gtwinsanddd
From: PickleLovingPrincess
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You can go back on the Pill all you want, it doesnt prevent any diseases hes bringing home.
Date: Mar-28
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From: Laurieb/gtwinsanddd
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he did just have a full std screening and hiv screening and everything was a ok! thank you very much! and I just had a hiv test and it was neg. oh and my kids are 9 and 5, as you can see in my signature, and as I said before they are at school whenever I do anything with him, so no they do not know what is going on.Laurie
Date: Mar-28
To: All
From: Sugar Pants
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I'm sorry, but your kids know. If they don't by now, they will in less than a year.if you want a booty call, go out to a bar when your kids are staying over that their dads. That, they will never know about. Not my recommendation, but sorry, it is better than what you're doing.My recommendation is the same as I posted pages ago. give him up. for good. forever. you are undervaluing yourself and demeaning yourself. you have a physical need? they make toys for that. take care of yourself, raise your kids to see a strong mother, and eventually you will find a good man.
My Personal Blog: J and C and Me
Date: Mar-28
To: All
From: Sugar Pants
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164508.117
but they see the two of you together, during kid exchange if nothing else. you can lie to yourself all you want and think that they don't notice the looks and the attitude, but they do. do you want your daughter to let herself be used in such a way? no. then stop showing her how it's okay.children model their future relationships after their parents. yes, even their divorced parents. divorced parents can model a healthy, adult relationship. that's what you need to aim for.
My Personal Blog: J and C and Me
Date: Mar-28
To: All
From: creamedcorn
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164508.118
I certainly hope that the saying "Girls grow up to marry men like their fathers" is totally untrue.
CC
Date: Mar-28
To: Laurieb/gtwinsanddd
From: memories43
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164508.119
If the kids are at school and you two are both at home dtd, who is out working bringing in the finances to raise these 4 children you have, 5 that he has??
Seriously I think if you are not pregnant you should consider permanent birth control. tubes blocked or tied. You have 4 kids, can you really afford to take care of any more emotionally as well as financially?
You talk about marrying someone else in the future and having more kids, lets face it, it seems like the guys you attract are not exactly great father material.
I am sure this will fall on deaf ears, but consider your life, the life of the kids you have now, why not just be the best mom to those 4, be outstanding, get your life in order.
Oh, and 12 years of P&P no unplanned preg. 3 planned. works for us, but we also know the risks, and dont mind right now.
Date: Mar-28
To: All
From: Laurieb/gtwinsanddd
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164508.120
I'm sorry, but I think going out to a bar to get a booty call would be even worse! that would be really demeaning myself! then I really don't know the guy's background, and don't know him! for all I know he could be some sick freak, that could end up beating me or even worse killing me! plus I don't just go sleeping around with any ol' guy! I'm not like that! I am comfortable with my h, and at least I know he is not going to try to beat me or kill me afterward! my kids don't have overnight visitation with their dad either. and like I said before, yes I know there are toys. NMS.Laurie
Date: Mar-28
To: All
From: mi*vida*loca
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164508.121
Seriously how long are you guys going to trash her!!!!!!It's not your life, it's not your DH, it's not your BF, it's not your kids so why do you care! She's not even teh OP!! I have my own opinions on the situation. I have an aunt who has 2 kids with a married man. Still the other woman 7 years later and his wife knows!!!!!! They both either don't care or believe everything he says. I don't know and to be quite honest, don't care!
Nikki
Date: Mar-28
To: All
From: Sugar Pants
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164508.122
then just abstain for goodness sake. sex is nice, but it's not a need. people live their entire lives without it. for the good of your children, can't you live without it until you find somene decent to be with????honestly, this has nothing to do with sex. deep down, you know that. it's time to get over him.
My Personal Blog: J and C and Me
Edited 9:03 PM by Sugar Pants
Date: 9:04 PM
To: All
From: LILLLILLY
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164508.123
so is a single mother who has many "dates" over the years a skank too and unable to raise her children?
Not saying I agree with pp sitsuation, but there are many ways to lose your self respect, atleast she honest and well aware of her part.
Lil
Date: 9:06 PM
To: All
From: Laurieb/gtwinsanddd
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164508.124
I have 3 kids, not 4. he has 3 with me, and 2 with the other girl. he works second shift from 2:30 pm to 11 pm. he comes over before he goes to work. my kids get home from school at 3:15. I work part time for now as a on call substitute teacher's aide, hoping to get a full time job as a teacher's aide. on the days that I get called in to work, then he doesn't come over on those days. it's usually only about once a week, sometimes once every other week that we get together. well I'm off to go to sleep now. you ladies all have a nice night!Laurie
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Date: 9:12 PM
To: Laurieb/gtwinsanddd
From: memories43
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164508.125
Well color me confused, because your siggy has a 9 year old girl, a set of twins, and then a new 8 week old baby you talk about. or am I confused...maybe I am confused with the OP.
Anywho~ Glad he is actually working to support all these little ones. Bless your heart, I hope you figure things out, and please consider the life of the kids you have and think about reliable if not permanent bc.
I am sure you love your kids like crazy, and being stretched thin as a single parent must be really trying, I cannot imagine with inadvertant purpose adding any more under the circumstance.
Date: 9:21 PM
To: All
From: Sugar Pants
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164508.126
Laurie, I really hope you'll give this some serious thought.I think that you posted that info knowing that everyone would call you on it. You knew the response you would get and some part of you wants to hear it....because you already know it. You're not being careful with protection because you think there's a chance, just a little chance if you got pg he's leave her for good and come back to you. But you know that's not going to happen, and you know it needs to stop.You're a single mom, and that's something that is a daunting task by itself. The more you let him use you up and tear you down, the harder it will get. 'Don't take my word for it, I'm some random stranger on the internet. Make an appointment with someone. A couselor, a psychologist.
My Personal Blog: J and C and Me
Edited 9:21 PM by Sugar Pants
Date: 9:24 PM
To: memories43
From: la_mac_micah
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164508.127
Laurie is not the OP of this thread it is not her 8 wk old.
~*~Laura~*~
mom 2 one DS Micah
Date: 9:31 PM
To: All
From: Tempest Mom
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164508.128
Laurie, I guess I just wanted to say that I understand. I truly do. I think this is one of those things where you might have to actually be in that person's shoes to have empathy for the situation/person in question. I especially related to the post where you said that you feel unable to resist his attention when he's with you.. it feels good to be wanted again after being cruely rejected. (he left you for her, right?) It helps our ego in some weird way.. rebuilds some of the self esteem that was torn apart when he walked out to be with someone else.
BUT, what I want you to think about.. is what HE'S getting out of this. It's a PURE ego trip for him. It relieves his guilt for what he did.. he's throwing you crumbs and you're taking them.. so HE feels better. So, while you THINK this is all good and well because no one is getting hurt.. it's YOU that will feel hurt and demeaned when he tires of this and just goes back to her. The rejection that you felt when he left the first time will come back just as strong and in some ways worse.. because now, you will feel like total $hit for having let him use you that way.. and he IS using you. I KNOW it's flattering and hard to see through clearly.. but you will later and you will hurt for this. A shameful hurt.. one I think that is actually harder to live with then the initial "leaving" hurt.
I hope you have the strength to end it and THROW HIM OUT, if for NO OTHER REASON (aside from the ones mentioned already) so that when it's over, you can hold your head high and feel like it was YOU that took control of the situation and made the right choice for yourself and your children. Not just him deciding he's had enough and walking away leaving you to feel used and hurt. You deserve better than that.. and you will need that ego boost from having been the one to say "YOU are not good enough for ME anymore" to get you through this new ending, instead of him shoving that down your throat by leaving you AGAIN to stay with her.
I say this in the sincerest and most empathetic place in my heart!! {{{{Hugs}}}}
C ~
Date: 10:26 PM
To: All
From: lvmommy99
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164508.129
I'm sorry, but knowingly sleeping with a man who is double dipping is just GROSS!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Deb~Married to my H.S Sweetheart since 6-27-98Mom to 3 boys (ages 8, 7 & 4)
Date: 10:38 PM
To: All
From: BCQuillen
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164508.130
Closed for review.
QuillenCommunity Moderatorquillen.johnson@babycenter.com
