and I really don't want to sit through another baseball game pretending I really am having a good time.
mostly a lurker here on this board. this statement kinda shocked me...i do a lot of things for dh that don't necessarily please me, but i know he enjoys my company more and i think it endears me to him to know that while i may not get *pleasure* out of watching him play his umpteenth game of nba live on one of our two ps3s (sigh...yes, we have two and yes i realize this isn't a bargain, lol), he knows i do it for him...but then he does a lot of things for me and with me that he's not crazy about either.
when you do something b/c you're forced to, then that's a communication issue that needs to be resolved. either you do it b/c you love each other or you talk about what needs to be changed.
Whoever answered my comment sarcastically, there were a lot of people implied that they went out with out there DH's or DFs whatever the case to be with their male best friends or female best friends. So I thought they were implying they went out WITHOUT their SO. Yes I know what babysiters are. ;)
However, JMO, when I had my children, I grew out of that phase needed to party and such. JMO. If I had a baby sitter, I would go out with DH , alone, some place quite.
I don't know...I just can never be happy for someone in this kind of "alternative" lifestyle so to speak.
~ I'm not a troll!
~ This ain't nothing, it's been on OPRAH!
~ Gotta run, I gotta date!
RIIIIIIIIGHT. I don't believe for 10 seconds you're serious, and if you are you are a selfish, selfish person. You should be thinking of your children and your marriage and the effect this will have on them instead of your attraction to other men.
Who am I to judge... so, whatever floats your boat. But in all of your reading on "this type of relationship" did you not discover that the OPEN portion of the relationship was the PHYSICAL aspect, NOT the EMOTIONAL aspect??
To find out that your SO is fucking someone else is one thing... hearing that your spouse of 11 years wanted to have a relationship outside of the marriage, because she "loves another man" is something TOTALLY different. I hope that you get what you want out of this relationship.
"Sexy" Dance. Lol. Aaaahhhh the BB.
So this is what I don't understand about people who start their post with "I'm not a troll." They talk about how they like to conceal their identity and don't post much, but then throw out a super personal "Woohoo, I get a BF!" I just don't understand it.
Miss1984-Ya know, I understand what you are saying about not judging and this doesn't mean that they relationsip is doomed,etc. I appreciate the alternative view point. However, You like the ladies and your husband gets to play too. I don't know a lot of men who are going to turn that scenario down. So yeah, I can kind of see how your relationship would still be standing.
I still think that with how eager the hubs was to let her go on play dates with another man that he has someone else and that this could potentially lead to disaster.
because I needed to get it out to someone and I can't exactly discuss this IRL.
I think you need to look at why you want to hide this relationship from real people.
If 2 consenting adults agree to have sex with other consenting adults then how is that wrong... how can you deem this woman's marriage a failure?
I think there's nothing wrong with this unless there are children involved. I don't think it's fair to a child to drag them through somebody's sexual exploration periods. I would not deem this woman's marriage a failure, but I do think she's failing to see her children's POV on this.
But otherwise, no kids involved, bw the adults.
wow!!!!
If this is what you want then go for it. I do agree with it but then again I don't on some levels. I'm commenting on page 2 so can I ask you what are the ground rules y'all came up with?
Edited: ok I got to go back and read b/c I see this is getting heated.
Good for you guys! Whatever makes you all happy. Not my life so I don't have to worry about it.
save your poor kids the humilation of having a selfish slut for a mom and just divorce your husband so you can do whatever you want.
your husband only agreed because he probably wants to go hump some young hot chick and you just gave him a get out of jail free card. How stupid..
I was only going to lurk and read but LMFAO @ this post: save your poor kids the humilation of having a selfish slut for a mom and just divorce your husband so you can do whatever you want.
Well said.
My SIL had a lot of guy friends from childhood that she hangs out with, and her DH was fully aware that they would hang out. She claimed it was platonic, after all the guys were all married (some to other childhood friends). However, he didn't know that she was sleeping with most of them. She went to her DH had told him about her affairs, and told him she wanted to stay married, but wanted to date other men. Why? So she could have the best of both worlds...a comfortable life where she could spend money like there was no tomorrow, and have all the materialist things that these other men can't provide for her, and sleep with whomever was the best in the sack. She has now left her DH and 3 small children and living with her latest conquest.
Yep, good idea to hang out with guy friends.
I don't think he loves you. Sorry, but any normal guy would object to this. Guys especially don't share. There is deffinitley something up with your husband, you should prob get to the bottom of it.
F&G- I agree with you. I could use a wife as well. Especially if she was a neat freak.
And Miss1984- I think it is different if your hubby is involved. Its one thing if you are with him and others- a completely different thing when you go off on your own. I think that sort of thing leads to troubles.
And I think for me the most troublesome part is that OP is in it for emotional stuff and companionship. IMO that should be coming from her husband. Or a friend (be it a guy friend or a girl friend).
Good luck OP. Maybe your relationship will be the rare one that can handle games of this sort.
That is if this is a real situation and not someone looking to spice up a slow BB.
And PP, not everyone who has guy friends is a homewrecking whore.
O.k., I tried not to comment, but just had to:
I am not a troll...
Yes, I believe you are. This is not real, just someone trying to stir up some drama.
Whatever. I'm over it.
Updated 13 hours ago
the only way I would ever let something like this happen in my marriage is if I was getting it on the side , or had a plan in action. so be very leary of what your husband has up his sleeve.
I'm pretty sure this isn't real. And if it is, your DH is a little bitch. That's what my DH just said.
I don't really care if you think its a bad idea. I know there are risks.
This is from the OP.. So, if you know there are risks, what exactly is it that makes this guy so important that you're willing to TAKE these risks with your husband, your children, your marriage..
I can't believe you actually had the balls to basically walk up to your DH, and tell him that since finding this old flame he's not good enough anymore, and you want to begin a (possibly) sexual relationship with another man. That's probably the most selfish thing I can think of. And.. DH is fine with it, why? Probably because you verbally castrated him. He was probably too stunned by the sudden realization that the woman he's been married to for years is a selfish whore.
It's obvious that you're headed for divorce.. Your poor kids. Your poor DH. Maybe you're not willing to admit it to yourself just yet, but your marriage will not last. It's not like this just happened out of the blue. You said yourself you were thinking about this old boyfriend, and actually spent the time looking for him, and pursuing this relationship.
Just wait. When you and your "boyfriend" let this relationship get sexual, he'll realize you're still the same slut you were in highschool, and he'll dump you all over again.. Then you'll realize you had a good thing going with DH after all.. But by them it'll be too late because he'll have another girl on the side allready.
Even if this is fake..... I have a question.... Do you honestly think that if a woman chooses to be in an open relationship that she is a whore.....
Oh *sigh* I guess we live in the 60's still.....
And, trust, me I know, its a very foreign concept to wrap your brain around. Society kind of programs us in that direction.
Not society. Morals. When you release your morals, you begin to think these kind of things are ok.
Also, to everyone who is upset about the idea that people are saying her marriage is jeapordized by this, know one thing: the marriage she agreed to (unless otherwise stated in her vows) is over once she takes this step. Divorce and other painful things may or may not be the repercussion of this one decision...but the original marriage is over.
And that's just the humble opinion of a lurker. LOL
All I can say is that my Brother and his wife also thought this may be an okay thing to do.....and after 14 years of marriage, they are now divorced and things aren't so pretty. They have three kids that really went from a fairytale life to WTF happened.
Hope it all works out the way you are hoping it will. So, how exactly do you explain this to the kids??????
Hey, I want a wife! Where's mine?
As for the topic at hand, ummm to each their own I guess. Good luck with that.
>>>>>wang2-- Yes, you do have two wangs, now don't you?<<<<<
bwahaha!
#1 ok maybe i'm miss prissy pollyanna 2008 but even if dh ok'ed a date for me with mr. freakin brad pitt himself and i got all caught up in the moment, ya know what i'd probably do 5 min after the date was over? sit down & cry. cry for my babies who i jeapordized their childhood by messin' around, & cry for my big hearted dh for obviously not appreciating him nearly enough.
& i doubt this guy is even mr. pitt, he probably works for taco bell or something.
#2 ugh as is dh wants to have "business time" too much already, wtf would i want more of that for??
#3 did i mention "sure hon, go get a boyfriend!" is french for "HE'S CHEATING ON YOU".
I agree with the PP who said this situation is not what an open marriage looks like. Plenty of people have open marriages that are very happy and functional. It's not for me, but whatever works.
The OP's situation is odd, because she is looking (from what I get from it, anyway) for romance and excitement and love from the boyfriend, not just sex.
This has disaster written all over it.
Okay, I'm totally a lurker, but this thread is thoroughly entertaining.
I don't know what the heck I'd do with 2 penises, satisfying the 1 I have is challenging enough. 
I could use a wife too. But just for the wifel-y duties like cooking and cleaning, she'd have to keep her hands off my man.
lol Lindsay, ITA! Dh is more than I can handle most of the time too. ;)
I have to say this thread has been VERY civil!
Updated 10 hours ago
Ok Ok..... I love playing devils advocate and debating.. but it's true the story does sound kinda silly and weird....
That was fun for one day... Wonder what fun is in store tomorrow to futher distract me from my work
Good Night Ladies
You obviously need more than what you have been getting from your DH. Falling in love is always exciting. I'm curious if he said it was ok because he has someone in mind as well or to see if you'll actually do it.. At any rate I hope that you find your happy place.
Oh *sigh* I guess we live in the 60's still.....
Ummm, miss1984...you know that the 60s would have embraced this shit right?
lol.
Oh and I want a wife. She can cook, clean and watch the kiddos while dh and I go out 
.
Yeah, my husband just told me he's gay. He's cool with me bringing home other guys now since we can have threesomes with each other, since he's into guys too...
Oh wait, is this the Bargain Board?
Oh, I meant to post...
There are COUPONS in the new Parenting Mag that's out!!!
20% off your entire purchase at Gymboree!!!!
Note to group: First story: Fiction. Second story: I'm not lying...check out the new Parenting Mag 
. If you are about to spend big bucks at Gymboree might as well buy the cheapo magazine for the deal.
Yes Miss1984, we should all go and have public group sex on a beach to show how modern and liberated we are. Then we can piss all over each other, chug back a keg and get out the whips. Thats not liberated, but I suppose it makes you sound 'special/trendy/cool whatever. Of course your DH isnt going anywhere, he's got two women in his bed, duh. See what happens if you bring another guy home, or how you feel when you find him getting busy with one of your bed-buddies without you.
I think that this is not going to work. Not because open marriages can't work, but because it wasn't something agreed upon from the beginning. I'm not an expert on open marriages, but I think that is just about sex, not about the emotional and social needs.
If you are not getting the emotional from your DH, that is the problem, not the physical.
OMG, imagine having to give BJ's to TWO men. There ain't enough booze in the world to make me sign up for that.
GL, OP. Better you than me.
If this is real and she has emotional attachments to this other guy then that is going further then just an open marriage. What if she finds out this other guy is just perfect for her. What if she finds he stimulates her emotional and physical needs better then her dh. That is playing with fire. Open marriages are one thing, having a husband and a boyfriend is something different. This isn't just about sex and the emotional part can make it very tricky.
How many of you have actually been in her situation? If so, then you are truly the only one's who know if her marriage is doomed or not.
Everything else is pure speculation.
Most here define a marriage as between two people (male and female). This isn't the case with some other cultures or religions. Monogamy is actually a fairly recent concept. Just because that works for you doesn't mean that it should apply to everyone else.
There are plenty of other threads that discuss and debate non-traditional marraiges. The "lifestyle" is a lot more prevalent that most of us think it is.
To the OP. Good luck to you. I hope that you find what you're looking for and are able to keep all members of your family happy.
PBS- That's what I was thinking- this would have been embraced in the 60's. After AIDS came along in the 80's people started frowning on this kind of thing.
Any update from the OP? How was the date?
Personally I think the whole thing is some inventive fun to liven up the board.
Updated 2 hours ago
Sign me up for a wife too. There are already 3 penises under this roof - I do not need another!
I am not a troll, but.......
right.
GL to ya. I love to idea of a blog. Keep us updated.
LMAO!!!! This board has really come to life since I checked it out yesterday....
I must say -
I, too do not want another penis! I'll stick with the one I've got. But, I DO want another wife!!!! My house is dirty, the laundry needs done, the meals need cooked, and the groceries need bought. Plus, she can take our kiddos to their activities! I'm in!! She can sleep in the shed or on the floor in the living room.
Did I miss it, or did she say how her "DATE" went yet? I'm sucked in, can't help, I've gotta know if she got some!! This is better than desperate housewives!
I don't know that congratulations is the word for it. Good luck..hopefully it will work and you will continue to have 2 men in your life. However, I can't help but think you are headed for T-R-O-U-B-L-E! Talking about such a thing is one thing, but living and seeing it is quite another.
I am not a troll, but.......
And we all know that BUT is a contraction that means - "disregard what I just said..."
Just a word of caution, OP, I have an friend whose parents agreed to a similar setup when the kids were grown. The setup went against the morals that the parents taught the children. And my friend has lost a measure of respect for her parents, particularly the one with a BF/GF. So, best of luck to you, I hope this doesn't interfere with your relationship with your children.
Sheesh...good luck. Sounds to me like your DH is only agreeing to this to...
A. Buy some time to be able to afford a good attorney
B. Can't wait to find himself a person he has more in common with
C. Both A and B
I'm voting C!
I have given this some more thought.
You know, it is Friday. I have spent the whole week in pajamas cleaning toilets and changing diapers, then quickly running upstairs to change into clothes and put on some lipstick before my husband gets home. Then picking up his work clothes, taking his suits to the cleaners, cooking, etc.
I wish that I had a boyfriend to pick me up in a clean car without crumbs from biter biscuits and toys all over the backseat and take me to a dinner in a restaurant with tablecloths and candles. And it would be quiet, no angry little babies! And wine!
Then maybe dancing or show. Ballet? Opera? Symphony? I would LOVE to put on a nice dress. I want to wear pantyhose and dangly earrings! I would be surrounded by other adults wearing nice clothes and exchanging pleasantries! Actual social contact with actual humans!
Fidelity issues aside, I'm totally jealous.
It's so obvious now that this is probably fake... But I love how I got a rise out of alot of you..... great reading with my coffee this morning... there is one person I wanna reply to though
Oh and about the 60's comment... I wasn't even alive in the 60's,... wasn't that the time of the whole sexual revolution.. or was that the 70's.... So I guess my comment should have been about the 50's or 40's then... who knows....
(This is not in defense of the OP, but a response to this)
Yes Miss1984, we should all go and have public group sex on a beach to show how modern and liberated we are.
There is nothing wrong with that... Though I have never had group sex before I have had sex on the beach and it is very liberating... You would be surprised... there is something about the sand and the ocean... I have seen people have group sex on the beach before... It's a funny story acutally... I was doing a site inspection (where you show Travel Agents around the hotel) this was at Hedonism 3 and so I am showing them around and we get to the nude side... and in the jacuzzi was a MAJOR orgy..... It was hilarious cause there I am with my back turned and didn't realize and it wasn't until I turned around... I was there for like 5 miniutes..... I quickly moved the group along...... How can you remain professional after THAT!!!
Then we can piss all over each other, chug back a keg and get out the whips.
If that is what makes you happy.... I don't like the whole pee thing.... so lets change that to whipped cream..... I don't like beer... so lets change that to vodka and whips... well I do have 1..... Not into spanking so much.. but sounds like a party
Thats not liberated, but I suppose it makes you sound 'special/trendy/cool whatever.
Actually it does make some people feel liberated.... it makes some people feel special, trendy and/or cool... But if it makes you happy then who care's how I sound? I am happy with my sexuality and my husband is happy with my sexuality... I can tell you some of the things I have done in my life and alot of you mom's on here would have heart attacks... But at the end of the day if I am not hurtining anyone and I am a good mother and a good wife and as good of a person as I can be then who cares if someone I don't know over the internet doesn't agree with my lifestyle?
Of course your DH isnt going anywhere, he's got two women in his bed, duh. See what happens if you bring another guy home, or how you feel when you find him getting busy with one of your bed-buddies without you.
Actually he is ok with me brining another guy home (we have discussed this) but I don't want another guy... personally I agree with alot of you... 1 penis (and a big one at that) is good enough for me as well! I have no need for a 3-some with 2 guys... one guy is enough.... and NO I can guarantee you that my husband would NOT bruing another woman into our bed without me.... He wouldn't risk loosing his family over it... Besides why would he?
Anyway... this again has nothing to do with the OP, but just to say that just because someone has a different sexual lifestyle that you doesn't make them bad or a 'ho' or anything like that... If something makes me happy then there is nothing that anyone can say to change that.
It's not an affair cause her husband knows about it.... and I want to hear ALL about it.... please don't speak for the entire BHB memebers...
Just to clarify:
af·fair 
–noun
| an intense amorous relationship, usually of short duration. |
am·o·rous –adjective
| 1. | inclined or disposed to love, esp. sexual love: an amorous disposition. |
| 2. | showing or expressing love: an amorous letter. |
| 3. | of or pertaining to love: amorous poetry. |
| 4. | being in love; enamored: She smiled and at once he became amorous of her. |
Oh and for those of you who said that you want another wife to do the cooking and the cleaning and all that stuff then get a maid/helper
*Oh and I have one of those too and she lives in my house Mon-Sat, she takes care of the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning.... which give me more time for DS, Work and doing the nasty*
Speaking of work.... let me get some done
I completely agree that I need a wife as well. But only if she does the cleaning, cooking, laundry and grocery shopping. No slackers allowed.
To the OP. "Whatever floats your boat" is pretty much my motto. As long as you and DH are in agreement, and there are rules and precautions in place, knock yourself out.
Updated 2 minutes ago
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