Spin off - When is the last time you crapped your pants?
I have to admit, I have had some of those OOOOHHHH NNOOOOOO moments and have shat myself, whether it was the whole load or just a nugget.
So let's hear your stories.
Comments for talk (156)
I've done a lot of things, but I haven't shit my pants-- well, at least since I was potty trained at, what, 15 months?
Speaking of, how did my Mom potty train me at 15 months old? Who does that? She has *got* to be exaggerating by a good 6 months, no?
Speaking of, how did my Mom potty train me at 15 months old? Who does that? She has *got* to be exaggerating by a good 6 months, no?
I have a very distinct memory of pooping in my pants with excitement on Christmas Eve when I was 8. I ran to the bathroom and dropped it in the toilet, and no one was the wiser.
Until now, that is.
Until now, that is.
I had an accident when I was around 10. I was at the grocery store with my mother and it just happened. I had to tell her (because I was wearing a dress and was afraid to move) and she was awful about it. She scolded me and was just altogether very mean about it. It's like she thought I'd done it intentionally or something.
So yes, sometimes shit does happen.
So yes, sometimes shit does happen.
I also barfed all over myself in HS while intoxicated and removed myshirt along the highway to put on a clean one. The cop who pulled over behind us was not amused but somehow believed us when I said my dinner did not agree with me. Yes. I was a liar, a drunk and would poop my pants at will later in life. tra-la-la!
well, it wasn't my pants, but I have been leaving "pressies" for my office-mates in the bathroom....sometimes I can't get it all in the toilet, and I just don't know what to do so I get flustered and leave it there on the back of the seat....like every day! It's weird. Sometimes I try to clean it, but it just makes everything worse. I hope noone has noticed, I'd hate for them to make a stink ;)
Kendrasaurus, I can't say I have ever found a chocolate track on my unduhpants.
I'll be on the look out, though, from here on out!
I'll be on the look out, though, from here on out!
Oooohhhhh, I can tell all kinds of barf stories. Wanna hear about the scratch 'n' sniff at Andrews Airforce Base?
I have Crohn's Disease & Ulcerative Colitis, so it's a semi-regular occurrence. Nothing like having to face the preschool teacher and find out that your 3 year old has shared with circle time that "Mommy had an accident on the way to school today." Thank goodness her dh happens to have Crohn's and she gave me a big hug. I make a LOT of poopy jokes in our house and I no longer really have any shame. Oh well. It's either laugh or cry about it. ;-)
I had a nasty stomach flu this past Christmas...thought it was just fart, turned out it was a bit more! :-X
Momma_Chik,
My mother claims as well that I was potty trained at 15 months old. I don't believe it, but she says its true.
And no, I've never shit my pants. Not once in my 23 years of memory do I actually REMEMBER doing it. Sorry I'm no fun :(
My mother claims as well that I was potty trained at 15 months old. I don't believe it, but she says its true.
And no, I've never shit my pants. Not once in my 23 years of memory do I actually REMEMBER doing it. Sorry I'm no fun :(
Kendra darlin, you crack me up. OMG, gambled and lost.
This has me lol'ing but I'm not ready to tell my story :)
This has me lol'ing but I'm not ready to tell my story :)
Kendrasauras - the bigger question is - what letter was in your pants when you looked?? lmao!
I had a really bad tummy bug last year. I tried to make it from my parents house to mine (less than 2 miles) but my tummy couldn't do it. Not good.
Damn you Megaroonie!! Keep your shit either in your pants or in the toilet - wiping your ass on the seat is not proper work time etiquette.
Is anybody else dying laughing right now from these crap chronicles?
Ok, so it wouldn't be fair for me to not share mine. It was about 6 or 7 years ago, my friend invited me to go out and get some sushi. I had never had sushi but am up to try new things. Well it did not like me and on the ride home my tummy began a turnin' and I could feel the wheels in motion. We got to his house and I was clenching my cheeks so tight, but I just couldn't hold it back, I exploded right there in my car, in my pants. I just told him I wasn't feeling well and drove home, waddled inside with a massive load of diarrhea in tow and got directly into the shower, pants and all.
I am full of truth tonight, good lord.
Is anybody else dying laughing right now from these crap chronicles?
Ok, so it wouldn't be fair for me to not share mine. It was about 6 or 7 years ago, my friend invited me to go out and get some sushi. I had never had sushi but am up to try new things. Well it did not like me and on the ride home my tummy began a turnin' and I could feel the wheels in motion. We got to his house and I was clenching my cheeks so tight, but I just couldn't hold it back, I exploded right there in my car, in my pants. I just told him I wasn't feeling well and drove home, waddled inside with a massive load of diarrhea in tow and got directly into the shower, pants and all.
I am full of truth tonight, good lord.
Natalia -- a friend of mine refers to that phenomenon as "your butt has eyes." As in: your butt can see how close to home you are, and stops holding things in.
Also: diarrhea is called poo-butt in our house.
When you're about to embark on a trip and cannot stop pooing? That's "travel butt."
When you're away on a trip and can't poop at all? "Travel butt, phase 2."
Also: diarrhea is called poo-butt in our house.
When you're about to embark on a trip and cannot stop pooing? That's "travel butt."
When you're away on a trip and can't poop at all? "Travel butt, phase 2."
I was extremely constipated when I was about 8 weeks prego with YDD. I was stupid (and embarrassed to ask my doc) so I took an EXLAX to try to releave myself...it took about 8 hours and my system was CLEAN! I remember laying on the couch, moaning in pain from the cramps it was causing, and all of a sudden...boom! It was awful.
I like to refer to that mess of a night as butt soup.
I can't believe I just told you all that story, ha!
I can't believe I just told you all that story, ha!
Mommylacie0509:
You, too? I have a *really* hard time believing that a 15 month old can be potty trained, but apparently, it is, in fact, possible. Maybe it had something to do with cloth diapers?
You, too? I have a *really* hard time believing that a 15 month old can be potty trained, but apparently, it is, in fact, possible. Maybe it had something to do with cloth diapers?
You shit in your pants with said penis in the same car?? He had to have known with the cloud of funk hovering around his nostrils! Bwahahaha!
We call diarrhea "yucky poops" in our house.
Oh, and my mm swears that disposable diaper are the reason why kids take lobger to PT. She says it's because they can't feel when then they are wet.
And, no - I have never shit myself.
Oh, and my mm swears that disposable diaper are the reason why kids take lobger to PT. She says it's because they can't feel when then they are wet.
And, no - I have never shit myself.
Oh man, I've got tears rolling down my face right now. I think this is the funniest thread I've ever read.
I'm sorry I should have clarified, we were driving separate cars from the restaurant back to his house, he got out of his and walked over to mine asked if I wanted to come in and I said 'no, I think I am going to puke, sushi isn't for me so I'm going to go home'. All the while I can hear the shit growling in my stomach to be freed. Just as I was rolling up the window, all hell broke loose.
"a friend of mine refers to that phenomenon as "your butt has eyes." As in: your butt can see how close to home you are, and stops holding things in."
This kills me. I'm going to have to show Mr. Michelle this thread.
This kills me. I'm going to have to show Mr. Michelle this thread.
I so want to show this thread to my FIL. His SONS are not even allowed to say "fart" or "poop" in front of him. Needless to say, his oldest son married the fart queen of Texas as backlash.
I was just thinking to myself, gosh I hope no one shows this thread to anyone, or copy/pastes it anywhere. Thanks Dre, now you made my fear grow larger. ;)
Holy crap girls!!!! This thread is hilarious! Seriously I have no exciting stories as I don't ever recall crapping my pants.
No way would I show anyone! But I do always keep in mind that this is really public. I'm this crazy in real life, too, so no one would be surprised about anything I've posted. But no need to fear (not from me anyway).
All I can think is every time I post on this thread, all my BBC "friends" see "mama needs wine just posted on the thread 'When is the last time you crapped your pants?'"
:0
I need to go post on three different threads, right quick-like.
:0
I need to go post on three different threads, right quick-like.
I got sick immediately after my 3rd boy. We went home the next day, I ended up with diarrhea and had no muscle control down there. I had a feeling and everything would let loose. I sprayed the entire bathroom once. Got off the toilet making my way to clean up the tub where it started and got the urge again and as I turned back from the toilet, well, it wasn;t pretty.
mama needs wine - you know I just went and did the same thing!! And now I am hysterically laughing.
I shit my pants a few times a year. It's not like I'm drunk and doing it either. I just can't always control it that well, and it sometimes it takes me by surprise. :O
I have a funny for you guys. Here's a clip of my son explaining what a shart is. He's supposed to say, "it's when you fart" at the beginning, but he left that part out.
www.snapvine.com/bp/7VGyqu7cEdyvAgA...
I have a funny for you guys. Here's a clip of my son explaining what a shart is. He's supposed to say, "it's when you fart" at the beginning, but he left that part out.
www.snapvine.com/bp/7VGyqu7cEdyvAgA...
I remember when I was 5 or so, doing dishes with a load in my drawers. My mom asked if I'd pooped myself and of course I said "no". I'm sure she could tell by the big banana shaped bulge in my pants. I was only wearing undies that day.
I don't think we should be able to say "poop", "crap", "shit", or "caca" on here. Or "dookie". I'm fucking offended! Shit!
Sooner or later the 12 year old inside my body is going to go away. Hopefully sooner.
A few times a year? Where is the shocked face emoticon?
Do you have bowel issues, or just can't make it to the toilet in time?
Do you have bowel issues, or just can't make it to the toilet in time?
*** All I can think is every time I post on this thread, all my BBC "friends" see "mama needs wine just posted on the thread 'When is the last time you crapped your pants?'" ***
OMG...this had me literally laughing out loud. My DS kept saying "why are you laughing?!"
OMG...this had me literally laughing out loud. My DS kept saying "why are you laughing?!"
Turtle head is a common phrase here. My brother likes to say "Touching cloth". A little too realisitic for me.
I don't count sharting as crapping the pants. I've sharted when seriously hungover before. I'll own that. I'm a big girl.
OK, you wanna hear my real "crapped my pants" story?
This was maybe 5 years ago. I teach music, and have as assembly to show the different instruments to the kids every year so they can figure out what they want to play. So, I had just finished one assembly, the kids were leaving, but I had other kids coming in for a second assembly. All of a sudden, I look at the Vice-Principal and am like "Ummm....I'll BRB." (He understood.) Anyway, I hustle to the bathroom, but am waaaayyyyyy too late. So I have to clean myself up the best I can, toss my RUINED panties (I covered them with papertowels so noone would have to see it, but still the smell lingered) and then go commando back to the kids and hope it was all over.
This was maybe 5 years ago. I teach music, and have as assembly to show the different instruments to the kids every year so they can figure out what they want to play. So, I had just finished one assembly, the kids were leaving, but I had other kids coming in for a second assembly. All of a sudden, I look at the Vice-Principal and am like "Ummm....I'll BRB." (He understood.) Anyway, I hustle to the bathroom, but am waaaayyyyyy too late. So I have to clean myself up the best I can, toss my RUINED panties (I covered them with papertowels so noone would have to see it, but still the smell lingered) and then go commando back to the kids and hope it was all over.
Last year when I was preggo and we had just ate White Castle. My stomach started doing the normal "after eating White Castle routine" and I started having really bad gas. Then all the sudden, FFAAARRRTTTT. My undies felt a little wet. I went to the bathroom and sure enough I had just sharted. That had never happened to be before. I didn't even tell my DH. Lets just say I haven't had White Castle in a long time.
Hey we're all being honest here, right? I just want to know how you can crap your panties a few times a year and be good with it? I mean, I can only ruin so many pairs of Victoria's Secret panties before I get my ass to the Dr and have my asshole checked out - or sewn shut.
A friend of my husband refers to turtle-heading as prairie-dogging.
If we keep posting on this, it's going to wind up as one of the "recent top threads."
If we keep posting on this, it's going to wind up as one of the "recent top threads."
Oh my gawd I am laughing so hard tears are streaming down my face!!
You took off your panties in the school bathroom and went commando?!?! And the principal understood? I can't stop myself from laughing.
I am so glad I started this thread, this has made my night.
You took off your panties in the school bathroom and went commando?!?! And the principal understood? I can't stop myself from laughing.
I am so glad I started this thread, this has made my night.
YES...it was a "private" toilet (no stalls, just the one toilet), and I don't think he knew the specifics of what was going on...just that I needed to "go".
It was awful, but amazingly DH thought it was pretty funny.
It was awful, but amazingly DH thought it was pretty funny.
I don't think that there is anything that can be done about it. My sister and my cousin have been to the doctor for it, and after a round of invasive tests the answer was "I don't know." I can usually make it to the bathroom in time. It hasn't ruined my life. I'm not sitting at home scared to leave because I might shit.
I hope the panties weren't a favorite, or part of a matching set. You should have flushed them, dispose of all evidence.
Maybe I should have just left them on the toilet tank, as a warning to all others...of what I don't know though LOL
I recently had my car worked on and when I got it back, the glove compartment was open (I had told the mechanic what he was looking for was in there). TOTALLY forgetting my "spare" panties and "adult wipes" are stashed in there.
Maybe he thinks I took them off and was going commando!
Maybe he thinks I took them off and was going commando!
Artemis - as long as you aren't the lady who shit on the floor of Kmart and let the other woman walk in it in her flip flops - I think we're all good.
Whatever happened with that woman that posted about that?
Whatever happened with that woman that posted about that?
Wiggles - that just made my night. He probably thought you were inviting him for a night of fun when he saw the panties. Then decided to change his mind when he saw the adult wipes. "Thanks, but I'll pass this time"
Just wanted to let you know this is numbero uno on the list of "Recently Popular Talks".
this thread makes me feel a little better about myself lol.
when i was 14, and dating "the love of my life" i had to shit so bad, we were on a very busy street in philly, i ran into a yard and crapped my pants, diarrhea, before i could get my pants down.
i tried to lie and say i fell in dogshit...but i knew they knew since the shit was on the INSIDE of my pants hahah. i was so traumatized.
i've recently had rectal surgery, i was unable to actually go number two. i had such horrible rectal spasms and would bleed profusely from my butt. i had surgery and as a result, after i go poop, no matter how much i wipe and wipe, a tiny bit of poop gets on my undies. small price to pay...but i NEVER let DF do laundry...even though he already knows. I'd be mortified if he saw it.
when i was 14, and dating "the love of my life" i had to shit so bad, we were on a very busy street in philly, i ran into a yard and crapped my pants, diarrhea, before i could get my pants down.
i tried to lie and say i fell in dogshit...but i knew they knew since the shit was on the INSIDE of my pants hahah. i was so traumatized.
i've recently had rectal surgery, i was unable to actually go number two. i had such horrible rectal spasms and would bleed profusely from my butt. i had surgery and as a result, after i go poop, no matter how much i wipe and wipe, a tiny bit of poop gets on my undies. small price to pay...but i NEVER let DF do laundry...even though he already knows. I'd be mortified if he saw it.
*** Artemis - as long as you aren't the lady who shit on the floor of Kmart and let the other woman walk in it in her flip flops - I think we're all good. ***
OMG...no! I'm the woman making her three year old power walk to the bathrooms in the back of Walmart. If you see a grocery cart outside the family bathroom, while hearing somebody say "shhh...don't talk about that" inside, it might be me. I wouldn't let the above scenario happen.
OMG...no! I'm the woman making her three year old power walk to the bathrooms in the back of Walmart. If you see a grocery cart outside the family bathroom, while hearing somebody say "shhh...don't talk about that" inside, it might be me. I wouldn't let the above scenario happen.
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