I feel like such a child right now. I am laughing so hard at all these stories. I even sent myself into an asthma attack!
My children are VERY familiar with hearing me say (in a ridiculously cheerful voice), "Ok girls. Mommy has to go potty (at which point the 4 year old usually says Again?!), so let's go super fast, OK?" And we rush in somewhere and I say in a totally evil way - "we need to use your restroom please" knowing full well they think my 4 year old is about to have an accident and not me.
It's OK. My children are adorable pawns in my web of deception.
It's OK. My children are adorable pawns in my web of deception.
Momma_Chick,
It's funny you say that, because I too was in C/D. Maybe thats the secret. I'm having a little girl this time around and Ive been thinking about cloth diapering. Maybe I'll think about it a little harder now. Hahahaha
These posts are cracking me up. I just keep telling myself its NORMAL not to shit your pants......
It's funny you say that, because I too was in C/D. Maybe thats the secret. I'm having a little girl this time around and Ive been thinking about cloth diapering. Maybe I'll think about it a little harder now. Hahahaha
These posts are cracking me up. I just keep telling myself its NORMAL not to shit your pants......
Dh has lovingly referred to me as Captain Poopypants.
(at least he gave me senior ranking).
(at least he gave me senior ranking).
Oh... that reminds me!
We were on our way home from the inlaws, I was about 8 months pregannt with Eleanore and after about 10 minutes on the road I knew I was in for trouble. I had to fart so bad, but I knew If I rolled the dice I'd fail miserably. It got to the point where I was standing in the car, trying to drive at the same time, doing anything to keep the pressure off my ass. After 20 minutes of agony I pulled over on the side of the road and had explosive diarrhea no more than 3 inches from the car. The hot, steamy pile was a masterpiece and Amanda, I'm sure it spelled oh my fucking lord.... in cursive. I wanted to take a picture but it was way too dark out.
Am I the only one that considers taking pictures of prize winning dumps? I'm going to be honest here. Sometimes I have amazing shits that just have to be shared so I'll save them for my husband to flush when he gets home. That moment when he discovers the treasure.... priceless.
We were on our way home from the inlaws, I was about 8 months pregannt with Eleanore and after about 10 minutes on the road I knew I was in for trouble. I had to fart so bad, but I knew If I rolled the dice I'd fail miserably. It got to the point where I was standing in the car, trying to drive at the same time, doing anything to keep the pressure off my ass. After 20 minutes of agony I pulled over on the side of the road and had explosive diarrhea no more than 3 inches from the car. The hot, steamy pile was a masterpiece and Amanda, I'm sure it spelled oh my fucking lord.... in cursive. I wanted to take a picture but it was way too dark out.
Am I the only one that considers taking pictures of prize winning dumps? I'm going to be honest here. Sometimes I have amazing shits that just have to be shared so I'll save them for my husband to flush when he gets home. That moment when he discovers the treasure.... priceless.
6 pages of crap talk and I cannot breathe anymore.
I have to go to bed now and take care of my sick poop monster. Keep the fun alive ladies, see you in the morning!
I have to go to bed now and take care of my sick poop monster. Keep the fun alive ladies, see you in the morning!
Most men can appreciate a good shit story. Even if we think it's embarrassing, they usually understand. My man has shat himself a few times since we've known each other.
Is shat the proper past tense of the word shit, when used as a verb?
Is shat the proper past tense of the word shit, when used as a verb?
oh my fucking shit kendra, i was about to log off and saw your post. i thought i was the only one who did that!! leaving turds to stew in the pot for others to see, priceless for sure.
i can't wait for the morning crowd to see this thread.
Thanks, "ladies." I was laughing so hard I just woke up my 3 month old...it was worth it though. I'd post a story, but I've got selective memory lapses...
So that's what it takes to get friend requests..... hmmmm.. i don't know about you girls.
This one still makes me laugh... I had the flu and was sleeping naked, as usual. Well, there was a thunderstorm and I literally had it scared out of me when I woke up to a huge crack of thunder. CRACK! and BLAMMO! all over the bed... oh wait, the question was... have you ever shat your pants... does this count? I won't even add the part about how DS was snuggled in between DH and I and got some on the leg of his PJs. Yup, still makes me laugh...
LOL....Kendra..Too funny. My oldest always tells me to come look at her dumps. She takes major shark shits. Makes me wonder how on earth someone so young can shit so big.
I wonder if the CEO of BBC will read this? Is this really the product they want to sell? Moms that shit their pants?
OMG I can NOT believe I am going to admit to this...I shat my self this morning :( I have irratable bowl and just as I was going to walk out the door and go to work I farted and gave my self a present. The worst part was when i showed up 10 minutes late I had to make up some lame ass story about car propblems to my boss.
Okay. I need to go post on like 12 other threads. This is what I've got:
* ArtemisCarlito commented on talk "Spin off - When is the last time you crapped your pants?" in group Bargain Hunters (5 minutes ago)
* ArtemisCarlito added kendrasaurus as a friend (5 minutes ago)
* ArtemisCarlito commented on talk "Spin off - When is the last time you crapped your pants?" in group Bargain Hunters (13 minutes ago)
* ArtemisCarlito commented on talk "Spin off - When is the last time you crapped your pants?" in group Bargain Hunters (15 minutes ago)
* ArtemisCarlito commented on talk "Spin off - When is the last time you crapped your pants?" in group Bargain Hunters (20 minutes ago)
* ArtemisCarlito added Dre the Texican as a friend (22 minutes ago)
* ArtemisCarlito commented on talk "What Kind of Drunk Are You?" in group Bargain Hunters (28 minutes ago)
* ArtemisCarlito commented on talk "Spin off - When is the last time you crapped your pants?" in group Bargain Hunters (31 minutes ago)
* ArtemisCarlito commented on talk "Spin off - When is the last time you crapped your pants?" in group Bargain Hunters (39 minutes ago)
* ArtemisCarlito commented on talk "Spin off - When is the last time you crapped your pants?" in group Bargain Hunters (41 minutes ago)
* ArtemisCarlito commented on talk "Spin off - When is the last time you crapped your pants?" in group Bargain Hunters (5 minutes ago)
* ArtemisCarlito added kendrasaurus as a friend (5 minutes ago)
* ArtemisCarlito commented on talk "Spin off - When is the last time you crapped your pants?" in group Bargain Hunters (13 minutes ago)
* ArtemisCarlito commented on talk "Spin off - When is the last time you crapped your pants?" in group Bargain Hunters (15 minutes ago)
* ArtemisCarlito commented on talk "Spin off - When is the last time you crapped your pants?" in group Bargain Hunters (20 minutes ago)
* ArtemisCarlito added Dre the Texican as a friend (22 minutes ago)
* ArtemisCarlito commented on talk "What Kind of Drunk Are You?" in group Bargain Hunters (28 minutes ago)
* ArtemisCarlito commented on talk "Spin off - When is the last time you crapped your pants?" in group Bargain Hunters (31 minutes ago)
* ArtemisCarlito commented on talk "Spin off - When is the last time you crapped your pants?" in group Bargain Hunters (39 minutes ago)
* ArtemisCarlito commented on talk "Spin off - When is the last time you crapped your pants?" in group Bargain Hunters (41 minutes ago)
kittycatty-
that reminds me of DH's story (he'd kill me, but he's not here). He has gout, and his "emergency" pills have the directions "take 1/hour til gout feels better or you have intestinal issues". So, he had taken like, 8, and then decided his stomache kind of hurt so he should stop. I woke up in the middle of the night and he is not in bed, but doing something to it...he said he fell out of bed, and being half-asleep, I shrugged and went back to sleep.
Next morning, he tells me that really, he thought he had to fart and pooped the bed...he was horrified, and when I woke up he was cleaning it up.
He wanted me to be all supportive, but I'm still riding him about it lol
that reminds me of DH's story (he'd kill me, but he's not here). He has gout, and his "emergency" pills have the directions "take 1/hour til gout feels better or you have intestinal issues". So, he had taken like, 8, and then decided his stomache kind of hurt so he should stop. I woke up in the middle of the night and he is not in bed, but doing something to it...he said he fell out of bed, and being half-asleep, I shrugged and went back to sleep.
Next morning, he tells me that really, he thought he had to fart and pooped the bed...he was horrified, and when I woke up he was cleaning it up.
He wanted me to be all supportive, but I'm still riding him about it lol
Maybe the CEO of BBC will be proud that the moms here are so comfortable that they can relate to each other about the most "intimate" of details.
My 6 year old had the runs the other day and he proudly told his nana that afternoon that he "got an extra day off of school because he had the diarhea."
My 6 year old had the runs the other day and he proudly told his nana that afternoon that he "got an extra day off of school because he had the diarhea."
It doesn't count as shitting your pants, but I shit the c-section table when I had DD. Exposive runny poo everywhere...or as DH calls it, ass piss.
The last time I can remember before that was 1st grade....fart gone wrong. I left it there all day too and blamed it on the smelly kid named Mitchell who sat next to me.
The last time I can remember before that was 1st grade....fart gone wrong. I left it there all day too and blamed it on the smelly kid named Mitchell who sat next to me.
I have NEVER told anyone this story.. it was/is soooooo embarrassing!!! I was like 22 or 23 and had been invited out on a date with this guy I'd been drooling over for weeks to see some special artist at the Gugenhiem (sp?) in Manhattan... I was so excited because this was a real "dress up and wear high heels" kind of date (LOL) and I made myself beeeautiful for it.. so we go to the show and I have a great time.. the guy seems to really like me and we are hitting it off really nicely.. we decide to stop at some corner bar/restaurant for a quick drink and I have a vodka and cranberry.. we sat and talked for awhile and were really getting affectionate with each other, but I had work the next day, so we head out of the city on the subway heading to queens where my car was parked waiting for me.. anyway, about halfway through the subway ride I get that "feeling" and realize I am going to shit myself if I don't get off that train and fast.. but if anyone is from NYC, you know there are no bathrooms on the train nor in the subway stations! So, I go from being all miss cozy chatty like to looking like I hate him and am trying to keep him from even talking to me!! I needed ALL of my concentration to hold the poop in! LOL I know he doesn't understand the sudden turn of attitude from me and keeps asking me if everything is okay and I can barely mutter yes without sounding like I'm growling at him! We finally get to my stop and the act of walking off of the subway was more than my poor sphincter could handle and out it comes.. just loads of it.. I was DYING!!! I quickly said goodnight and walked away as fast as I could before he got a whiff of me and walk to a bar that was near the subway and then walk straight to the bathroom.. in there I almost get completely naked and am grateful that my pantyhose held most of the yuck to me and it didn't just fall out of my underwear as I was walking in there.. I even had to take off my dress to wash it from the waist down in the sink there.. I threw my panty hose and underwear in the trash (after washing them out to be curteous! LOL) and then put my wet dress back on and walked out to my car that was thankfully close by. By this time my date was gone and we never spoke again.. how could I possibly explain what happened? It was just too mortifying! LOL
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh that was a really good one!
Looks like those Depends all the couponers got would really come in handy with all the shitters an sharters over here!! LOL
I am laughing so hard I'm either going to choke on my food or shit myself. OMG these stories are horrible (in a good way).
We call it "touching cotton" around here.
And Kendra i never noticed you before but you make me laugh daily. omfg, woman your stories are fucking hilarious!
We call it "touching cotton" around here.
And Kendra i never noticed you before but you make me laugh daily. omfg, woman your stories are fucking hilarious!
I seriously can not even read all of the posts. I am laughing uncontrollably here. I have tears rolling down my face and my chest hurts from laughing so hard! I'll share my story as soon as I can stop laughing!
Grammer Rammer, your little girls story did that to me on the Pee thread. I was laughing soo hard, I can't wait to hear your poop story..lol!
My shit story is mortifying for both me and DH!
I was about 6 months pregnant with DD at the time. DS is at kindergarten and we were home alone. I took a shower and was walking around naked getting ready to get my fuck on with DH. He was in bed sleeping because he had been driving all night. I go in and wake him up, I'm straddling him. We were just talking and kissing and little bit. I thought I had to fart so I just let it rip. It totally was not a fart. I was total ass piss! OMG! At first I was so shocked I just looked at DH and he looked at me. After about 30 seconds of staring at each other not know what to say DH says "did you just PISS on me?" I started laughing hysterically and said "only if shit comes out my ass!" I thought he was going to die before he got to the shower! He has never let me on top of him naked again for fear that I will shit on him again!
DH and I are notorious for taking cell phone pics of our shits and sending them to each other and some of our friends/family. Now that DS has a cell phone, he does the same thing!
I was about 6 months pregnant with DD at the time. DS is at kindergarten and we were home alone. I took a shower and was walking around naked getting ready to get my fuck on with DH. He was in bed sleeping because he had been driving all night. I go in and wake him up, I'm straddling him. We were just talking and kissing and little bit. I thought I had to fart so I just let it rip. It totally was not a fart. I was total ass piss! OMG! At first I was so shocked I just looked at DH and he looked at me. After about 30 seconds of staring at each other not know what to say DH says "did you just PISS on me?" I started laughing hysterically and said "only if shit comes out my ass!" I thought he was going to die before he got to the shower! He has never let me on top of him naked again for fear that I will shit on him again!
DH and I are notorious for taking cell phone pics of our shits and sending them to each other and some of our friends/family. Now that DS has a cell phone, he does the same thing!
Me no. I'll never forget my oldest dd though, she was barely 3 at the time and wasn't feeling so hot. She passed gas and immediately started crying. I asked her what was wrong thinking that her belly hurt worse or something and in the most pathetic voice I've ever heard, her reply was
"Mama, I farted and poop came out of my butt"
"Mama, I farted and poop came out of my butt"
OMG, the tears are streaming down my face here.
My initial reaction was that I have not, but I forgot that after my 9.5lb baby, there was an hour or two where I had mini-runs and I couldn't even feel it. Thank god for those huge granny panty pad things and the return of bowel sensation!!!
My initial reaction was that I have not, but I forgot that after my 9.5lb baby, there was an hour or two where I had mini-runs and I couldn't even feel it. Thank god for those huge granny panty pad things and the return of bowel sensation!!!
I should have known better than to post on this late at night. I'm going to be the name next to this damn thread all night. LMAO
ummm....yes...and it was when I was an adult..on a date..with future dh...and his family... it has NEVER been mentioned by them... although my asshole sister and jerkoff cousin mention it ALL THE TIME! Thanks guys!
This so reminds me of a line that DH and his friends used to laugh about in college - it was in reference to farts gone wrong: Sometimes you gamble, and sometimes you lose.
I don't remember ever doing this - so I guess the last time I was in diapers.
I don't remember ever doing this - so I guess the last time I was in diapers.
Remember that girl on "Flavor of Love". Didn't she crap herself during the kick off ceremony. The strange thing was that Flav still kept her in the house.
OMG! What a way to start a Tuesday! My boys keep asking me what's so funny and if mommy is okay because she's crying!!! Holy shit!
Lets see, I've definitely sharted quiet a few times. Oh and when I was pg. I had some MASSIVE shits! I'd leave them in the toilet for dh to find. He was horrified at what came out of my ass (therefore tried to justify that if I could shit such big shits I could hand anal....nice try buddy).
My poor dh though. Had some major liver probs about 2.5yrs ago and his ammonia levels were really high in his body so they had him on some major laxatives. Poor guy would be shuffling thru the house with shit dripping down his legs. He had to deal with that for about 6months before his levels came down to a normal level. And he'd freaking kill me if he knew I was telling anyone this!!
Lets see, I've definitely sharted quiet a few times. Oh and when I was pg. I had some MASSIVE shits! I'd leave them in the toilet for dh to find. He was horrified at what came out of my ass (therefore tried to justify that if I could shit such big shits I could hand anal....nice try buddy).
My poor dh though. Had some major liver probs about 2.5yrs ago and his ammonia levels were really high in his body so they had him on some major laxatives. Poor guy would be shuffling thru the house with shit dripping down his legs. He had to deal with that for about 6months before his levels came down to a normal level. And he'd freaking kill me if he knew I was telling anyone this!!
Holy crap.
I feel like I need to give my sphincter an award for Great Service in Times of Crisis after reading this thread. Are there Kegels for the sphincter? I don't want to lose my shit-holding mojo.
I feel like I need to give my sphincter an award for Great Service in Times of Crisis after reading this thread. Are there Kegels for the sphincter? I don't want to lose my shit-holding mojo.
Oh my gosh, I cannot believe this is still at the top of the page. I am once again in hysterics, but now am at work and will surely get in trouble if I don't keep it down.
Grammer Rammer - Sweet Jesus that was an awful story, but damn what a funny story at that.
Grammer Rammer - Sweet Jesus that was an awful story, but damn what a funny story at that.
I should not be reading this at work! Me thinks it is quite obvious I am not working.
Oh, and luckily, I don't have any stories to share. I have had some mighty close calls, though, and actually have an appointment with a GI tomorrow to try and figure out my intestinal "issues."
Oh, and luckily, I don't have any stories to share. I have had some mighty close calls, though, and actually have an appointment with a GI tomorrow to try and figure out my intestinal "issues."
OMFG! This is the best thread EVER! lol
I cant think of any great stories. I've sharted before, but havent really shit my pants. Oh wait, there was this time at the beach when I was about 10yrs. I had to go so bad, but it was a beach you could only get to by boat and the only place to go, was in the woods. I just went out into the deep water, and pulled suit to the side! The log floated up to the surface and away from me. LMAO! It probably floated up to the beach near some unsuspecting family. lol
We have a cousin who calls it a snicker pokin'. lol
I was LMAO at the person who posted about her mom seeing the banana in her pants! lol
I cant think of any great stories. I've sharted before, but havent really shit my pants. Oh wait, there was this time at the beach when I was about 10yrs. I had to go so bad, but it was a beach you could only get to by boat and the only place to go, was in the woods. I just went out into the deep water, and pulled suit to the side! The log floated up to the surface and away from me. LMAO! It probably floated up to the beach near some unsuspecting family. lol
We have a cousin who calls it a snicker pokin'. lol
I was LMAO at the person who posted about her mom seeing the banana in her pants! lol
Oh please don't let this thread die, it keeps bringing me such joy.
Has anyone not even been reading it, but thought of it and just started giggling? As I was laying in bed last night trying to go to sleep I was just giggling uncontrollably. Then this morning on my drive into work once again I just started laughing in the car. This is really the best thread EVER.
Has anyone not even been reading it, but thought of it and just started giggling? As I was laying in bed last night trying to go to sleep I was just giggling uncontrollably. Then this morning on my drive into work once again I just started laughing in the car. This is really the best thread EVER.
OMG - I can't handle this. DH has issues with any discussion of poop and therefore would be mortified to find that a bunch of women can discuss this stuff openly with strangers on the internet. I am trying to read only when he's not in the room because I keep laughing out load.
Yeah, I was laughing maniacally last night and DH wanted to know what was funny. I said something vague and didn't tell him what it really was. He would be horrified.
They don't seem to understand our online bond, do they? I used to try telling him stuff, now I gave up and don't even bother, cause I am sick of getting that 'huh?' look.
OMGGGGGGGGGGGGG, PinkEllie!!
You are the reason why I am soooo fucking apprehensive about going in the ocean-- now I realize!
I would fucking die if I was swimming around and then a giant, chocolate, chunky, shit log passed me by. I would die. Fucking die.
OMG! LMFAO!!
And you, Grammar Rammer with the fucking Ass Piss comment. Ass Piss?? So, that's what the liquified goo is called-- ASS PISS! Who knew?
LOL
You are the reason why I am soooo fucking apprehensive about going in the ocean-- now I realize!
I would fucking die if I was swimming around and then a giant, chocolate, chunky, shit log passed me by. I would die. Fucking die.
OMG! LMFAO!!
And you, Grammar Rammer with the fucking Ass Piss comment. Ass Piss?? So, that's what the liquified goo is called-- ASS PISS! Who knew?
LOL
I have colonoscopies every 6-12 months. I end up just living in my bathroom on the prep day - literally, I move the phone, laptop, books, etc. in since I'm there for about 5 hours. If I'm feeling particularly evil I will text dh with updates on which "phase" of the prep I'm currently in (ass piss being one of them, LOL).
OMG! Best thread ever!
Last time was when I was pg wit my oldest. Didn't quite make it to the toilet at my grandmother's house. I had to throw away my panties and clean her toilet when I was done.
My cousins do take pictures of good poos and send them to other people. Thankfully I've never been on the receiving end.
Just for the record. No matter what anyone says, FARTS are always funny in my house. ;)
Last time was when I was pg wit my oldest. Didn't quite make it to the toilet at my grandmother's house. I had to throw away my panties and clean her toilet when I was done.
My cousins do take pictures of good poos and send them to other people. Thankfully I've never been on the receiving end.
Just for the record. No matter what anyone says, FARTS are always funny in my house. ;)
"When was the last time you crapped your pants?"
I'm sorry to say that it was only a few weeks ago when I came down with the stomach flu. I was heaving and pooping, which is a bad combination:-(
I'm sorry to say that it was only a few weeks ago when I came down with the stomach flu. I was heaving and pooping, which is a bad combination:-(
I was not even reading this thread because I can't remember crapping my pants... I came to see what all the posts were about and wow, just wow. I'm laughing so hard.
C'mon Katters, dig deep into your memory, surely there must be a shit story somewhere? Maybe a shart at least?
Momma Chick, no worries, it wasnt the ocean, but a lake! lol Hmmm, probably doesnt matter though, huh? lol
I love the "sea logs" in the tags!!!!!
I love the "sea logs" in the tags!!!!!
All this fun and I watched a movie last night.
I will admit after DD was born at 9lbs7oz I couldnt hold anything in. I still have trouble today 2 years later.
I made the mistake of explaining this to my DS 7 . Now where ever we are If I say I have to go now, He yells "watch out prarie dog coming thru !!!" He just thinks it is hysterical.
**Debbie
I will admit after DD was born at 9lbs7oz I couldnt hold anything in. I still have trouble today 2 years later.
I made the mistake of explaining this to my DS 7 . Now where ever we are If I say I have to go now, He yells "watch out prarie dog coming thru !!!" He just thinks it is hysterical.
**Debbie
I am laughing so hard I am crying and now my stomach hurts!!! The baby is laughing at me thinking I'm laughing at him. I've never actually done it but have had a few close calls.
Can this go down in the hall of fame somewhere? I want to read this when I am having a bad day.
Open your profile in another tab and click on journal. There should be an option to create a new entry. Then you can copy and paste each entry over there. You can edit your entries too, so you'll be able to keep adding as the thread grows.
I've crapped myself.
It happens. The last time? Last week when I had the flu. Anal leakage.
It happens. The last time? Last week when I had the flu. Anal leakage.
OMFG you ladies are killing me!!! I'm reading this at work and trying to muffle my laughs!!!
I have not done it but have come very very close, it's really only a matter of time. I know where the bathroom is in every store around (Home Depot, Menards, Grocery Stores, BRU, TRU, Walmart, Target, every dept store) I even ran into a bowling alley at 2 in the afternoon out of sheer desperation and painful cramps. I don't even care who's in the bathroom at that time, KWIM?
We call it having a "Drew" moment. Anyone remember the episode on The Drew Cary Show where they made him a cake with spoiled tofu?? And he's in the conference room and he feels the rumbling?? He's trying to pinch it as he's walking backwards out the door?? Then turns and runs? That's where our term comes from. It's nice, no one else knows what we are talking about! LOL
Keep it up, ladies, I haven't laughed this hard in days!!
Tracey
I have not done it but have come very very close, it's really only a matter of time. I know where the bathroom is in every store around (Home Depot, Menards, Grocery Stores, BRU, TRU, Walmart, Target, every dept store) I even ran into a bowling alley at 2 in the afternoon out of sheer desperation and painful cramps. I don't even care who's in the bathroom at that time, KWIM?
We call it having a "Drew" moment. Anyone remember the episode on The Drew Cary Show where they made him a cake with spoiled tofu?? And he's in the conference room and he feels the rumbling?? He's trying to pinch it as he's walking backwards out the door?? Then turns and runs? That's where our term comes from. It's nice, no one else knows what we are talking about! LOL
Keep it up, ladies, I haven't laughed this hard in days!!
Tracey
Ok, I have 2.
First: I was about 6, my mom sent me to school, but I guess I was sick, and had diahhrrea all over. I couldn't wear corduroy pants for YEARS! Yeah, somehow, in my mind, it was all about the ugly red corduroy pants.
Second: about a year and a half ago. Went to this nice dinner party for work. Turns out that the lady who hosted (and I worked with) is the MIL of DH's bff from college (follow that?) So we stayed late - totally were the last people to leave. We were sitting around, shooting the breeze, and drinking WAY too much wine. I ended up sick, all over their bathroom (yeah, like that wasn't mortifying enough) and somewhere along the line there was some anal leakage. Didn't realize it til I was looking at my nasty clothes the next morning through a hangover fog.
First: I was about 6, my mom sent me to school, but I guess I was sick, and had diahhrrea all over. I couldn't wear corduroy pants for YEARS! Yeah, somehow, in my mind, it was all about the ugly red corduroy pants.
Second: about a year and a half ago. Went to this nice dinner party for work. Turns out that the lady who hosted (and I worked with) is the MIL of DH's bff from college (follow that?) So we stayed late - totally were the last people to leave. We were sitting around, shooting the breeze, and drinking WAY too much wine. I ended up sick, all over their bathroom (yeah, like that wasn't mortifying enough) and somewhere along the line there was some anal leakage. Didn't realize it til I was looking at my nasty clothes the next morning through a hangover fog.
Anyone remember the SNL skit with the "Oops I crapped my pants again" adult diapers? lol
To share or not to share, that is the question... Well I guess if I want to play in the big leagues and let you guys get to know me, here I go. (I can't believe I'm going this...)
I can honestly say I have not crapped my pants - giggle pee is another story though - all the time! However, I have a really horrible story. It may be too graphic even for here. I will try to make it readable.
I was about 6 or 7 months preggo while at my ODD's gymnastics class. As we were getting ready to leave I suddenly had those really bad cramps where you know you need to get there asap. I told my mom friend to watch dd while I went. I'm sure nobody noticed the pregnant lady running for the bathroom (god willing) and I barely made it. Since it was a public rr, there was no way in hell I was going to sit down and with a huge belly, I really couldn't squat but I didn't realize that until I wiped and turned around. OMG, the toilet, back wall and floor looked like a crime scene. It was bad. I used an entire roll of tp trying to clean it up best as I could but it was bad. Not to mention that I tried to go as quickly as possible for fear that someone would be waiting. When I left, I told the owner that a kid must have been sick in the bathroom. OMG, I'm so bad!!!
I can honestly say I have not crapped my pants - giggle pee is another story though - all the time! However, I have a really horrible story. It may be too graphic even for here. I will try to make it readable.
I was about 6 or 7 months preggo while at my ODD's gymnastics class. As we were getting ready to leave I suddenly had those really bad cramps where you know you need to get there asap. I told my mom friend to watch dd while I went. I'm sure nobody noticed the pregnant lady running for the bathroom (god willing) and I barely made it. Since it was a public rr, there was no way in hell I was going to sit down and with a huge belly, I really couldn't squat but I didn't realize that until I wiped and turned around. OMG, the toilet, back wall and floor looked like a crime scene. It was bad. I used an entire roll of tp trying to clean it up best as I could but it was bad. Not to mention that I tried to go as quickly as possible for fear that someone would be waiting. When I left, I told the owner that a kid must have been sick in the bathroom. OMG, I'm so bad!!!
These are still making me laugh. Poo humor is always funny (to me) for some reason.
Oh and Kim (ebay mom) I'm not sure if it was a spelling error or intentional but you said "laugh out load" ... I know I'm 5!! giggle.
Oh and Kim (ebay mom) I'm not sure if it was a spelling error or intentional but you said "laugh out load" ... I know I'm 5!! giggle.
My kids think that I'm crazy for sitting here laughing with tears streaming down my face. This is the funniest thread I've seen in a long time. I tried to lay down and take a little cat-nap this afternoon, and kept thinking about this thread and was laying there laughing out loud.
Laughter is great medicine! Thanks ladies
Laughter is great medicine! Thanks ladies
Oh and Kim (ebay mom) I'm not sure if it was a spelling error or intentional but you said "laugh out load" ... I know I'm 5!! giggle.
No, that was a typo but I LOL thinking about adding it as a tag.
No, that was a typo but I LOL thinking about adding it as a tag.
OMG!!! WTF!!! I found this thread on my normal easy going bargain hunters, and thought, hmmmm, I wonder what that is all about?
Holy crap! I am crying tears. My boss keeps asking me if I am ok... I am pg though, so she thinks it normal for me to cry at my desk.
I have shit stories. Oh where oh where do I begin... I seriously hope this thread sticks around, I could read it repeatedly!
mama needs wine~Sphincter Kegals?
Holy crap! I am crying tears. My boss keeps asking me if I am ok... I am pg though, so she thinks it normal for me to cry at my desk.
I have shit stories. Oh where oh where do I begin... I seriously hope this thread sticks around, I could read it repeatedly!
mama needs wine~Sphincter Kegals?
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