OK, First, I am not a troll. I have been around forever. I just want to conceal my identity, because this is a subject potentially a little hard to explain to people IRL. But I HAD to tell someone...and you gals are my BFFs!!!!
So.....I was curious about an old flame of mine. A High school sweet heart. My first love. I looked him up and called him. Met him for coffee. Started talking to him more frequently, thinking about him a lot. And feeling like I wish I could date him. And the feeling was mutual. I told DH everything, as it happened.
But I am married. Love my DH of 11 years and our kids. I don't want to end that. And frankly, who says a person can only love one other. So I started talking to dh last night. We were in a good mood. And yea, kind of a weird convo to have with your hubby, to say the least. i thought maybe he'd throw his drink in my face and leave. He didnt. HE said he understood. We discussed some ground rules. We laughed about it a little. And now, I guess we have an open marriage.
I am excited.
And trying to figure out why in the world he would he agree to this. His self esteem isnt low. I wonder if he's done something he shouldnt have done and not told me.
I don't really care if you think its a bad idea. I know there are risks. There are risks in a strictly monogamous marriage. But I would rather play with infidelity out in the open and enjoy two relationships, than be sneaky and cheat and divorced, which is the way most people do it.
Posted 7/17/08
Ok. Well, if it works for your marriage, good for you. We can't judge if he's ok with it. And good for you for discussing it with your DH instead of trying to have an affair in secret.
Well, just make sure that you and your DH keep an open line of communication that means that you need to set DEFINATE rules on what is allowed and what is not allowed and you have to BOTH be 100% for it or else forget it.
But have fun and enjoy yourself.....
Well it sounds like a recipe for a nightmare to me but if it works for you all, great.
Good luck.
I'd make sure the new guy is free of STDs before proceeding. And be prepared for DH to change his mind once you actually move on with your plans.
Wonder if your DH has a wandering eye as well?
Maybe he's just taking away the allure of the forbidden. Things look much different when there's nothing keeping you from actually doing them.
It just seems awfully disrespectful of your husband. I couldn't/wouldn't do it. Why say marriage vows and promise to uphold them if you clearly don't want to!?!
Just because you're tempted doesn't mean you have to follow through with it.
Good luck in your marriage moving forward!
I Know! That is what I wonder about too. And we talked about that. I told him I wasn't interested in going out and picking up guys at bars, and I would not be ok with that from him. But if he met or knew someone that he was friends with and became interested in dating, then I wouldnt be a hypocrite about it.
And yes, checking on STDs is an obvious, but like I told DH, a physical relationship isn't my priority. I can't say thats not on my radar screen 
This other man and I share things in common that DH and I never will. DH is a sports nut. I would rather go to a museum or watch masterpiece theater. My new friend writes poetry and likes to dance with me. DH? HA! But I love things about my DH that BF will never have.
I have also started doing a lot of research and reading on this "lifestyle". I am not going in this blinded by infatuation. We do have some very clear ground rules. We discussed this for a long time last night.
And, trust, me I know, its a very foreign concept to wrap your brain around. Society kind of programs us in that direction.
So the way I see it, I could be sad and resentful in my marriage. Or I could be happy about the things both men have to offer me.
Updated 20 hours ago
My first thought is are you allowing him the same and if so how do you feel about that?
Never mind, you posted while I was. Have fun then.
Well, hope it works out.
But I am confused- your DH is ok with you having sex with another man? I don't know many men that are ever ok with this....did you explain that to him or is he assuming you're just dating this guy?
Why not break my vows and divorce first? Well, because I love my DH very much.
And I made sure he understood that this wasn't because I was having a problem with HIM. Its because I don't get to be fully myself with him. That's not HIS fault, he is who he is. And there are still lots of things I love about him.
You are two grown adults, if it works for ya more power to you.
I do agree that if you're questioning his motives you may want to rethink this or discuss your concerns before moving forward.
Also if he decides to follow suit you should also be open to the idea. Many women want to have their side piece but can't fantom their man with another woman.
I told him that my priority was not a sexual relationship, but that it might be a possibility. I was completely honest and open about my intentions.
If he found a girlfriend that he established a friendship with first and they had things in common that he and I just dont, then go right ahead. I will not be a hypocrite. I think it speaks volume about the strength of our relationship that for one, I trust him enough to discuss this, and for another, he is open to the idea.
So if your priority is not a physical relationship and you love your hubs, why not just be friends? If you are just enjoying the things you guys have in common, wouldn't that make more sense? Just offering a suggestion.
I am also with the posters that say he has his eye on someone. Not to mention most men don't like to share.....
^ What Natalie said.
Have fun with your affair. 
I think it speaks volume about the strength of our relationship that for one, I trust him enough to discuss this, and for another, he is open to the idea.
Really? If you love eachother that much why don't you just start doing the things together that you say you don't "get from him".
I just don't think those two things belong in the same sentence.
I think it speaks volume about the strength of our relationship that for
one, I trust him enough to discuss this, and for another, he is open to
the idea.
Really? If you love eachother that much why don't you just start
doing the things together that you say you don't "get from him".
I just don't think those two things belong in the same sentence.
ITA!!
I think it speaks volume about the strength of our relationship that for one, I trust him enough to discuss this, and for another, he is open to the idea.
It may speak volumes but I am not sure we agree on what those volumes say.
And what happens when you or your DH's girlfriend get knocked up? Because as we all know, nothing is 100% safe.
Oh, yea, because its SO much fun to drag a man to the museum that could care less about being there. and I really don't want to sit through another baseball game pretending I really am having a good time.
And why not just be friends? valid question....because I like the flirting with him and am attracted to him. Even if that was all that ever happened, I still would not do that behind dhs back.
I am a big girl. If it hurts my feelings, we will discuss it. I think its obvious I am not afraid to talk to him about anything.
I know this is odd. (understatement?!) and not an option for most people. But we also aren't the first. Hell, even oprah had an open couple on!
I have friends that I do things with that DH doesn't want to do. Finding a long lost boyfriend doesn't have anything to do with going to a museum. It's about the feelings.
Good luck.
I have had an hysterectomy. I am pretty sure that is fool proof.
I know people who are in a similar relationship.....and despite all the time I have had to try to "wrap my head" around their arrangement, it's still too hard for me to get it. I'm jealous and wouldn't want my DH with anyone but me. But that's just me.
Well, an open marriage is part of what ultimately ended my marriage to my XH. Mostly, because we DIDN'T communicate what was going on. It was fun at first (and it was all physical with some slight emotional on the side, opposite of you) but then it got weird. And then he quit talking to me at all, and even after I voiced my issues and asked him not to, he invited a girl from Canada to come see him. That was really it for me - he was more interested in another piece of ass than my concerns as his wife.
Keep the lines of communication WIDE open. You may think it's not worth talking about, but talk about it anyway. If it's mostly going to be social outings, then talk to your DH about it, just like you would talk about it if you went out with a girlfriend. I really think there's nothing wrong with friendships between members of the opposite sex, as long as the spouse is aware of what's going on.
IF it ever gets physical, again, tell your DH. Not all the sordid details, but let him know that you're taking that next step. And bring it up BEFORE the physicality happens, not after. You need to give your DH a chance to object, discuss, etc before you go there. Otherwise, you ruin all trust in your marriage, and that's not the outcome you want.
Good luck!
Updated 20 hours ago
Yes, You are right, its not about the museum. I could go alone.
It is ALL about the feelings. I have feelings for another man, but they don't take away from the feelings I have for DH. I feel like I have the capacity to love more than one person.
I think it speaks volume about the strength of our relationship that for one, I trust him enough to discuss this, and for another, he is open to the idea.
No it just means it's the beginning of a very bitter end. That's not love that's very obviously gone.
Oh, yea, because its SO much fun to drag a man to the museum that could care less about being there. and I really don't want to sit through another baseball game pretending I really am having a good time.
Maybe this is something you guys should have figured out 11 years ago when you were dating? Also I thought relationsips were about a give and take. While a couple should be compatible, it is healthy to share different interests.
I think it is also very natural to find someone attractive and enjoy the attention, as long as it doesn't get taken to the next level. I feel like this situation is a tad bit selfish? No? I think also, just because of the kids. If they are old enough to figure out that mommy and daddy have significant others (which at some point they will find evidence), that could potentially cause emotional damage and skew their view of relationships and parents. Each to their own I guess.
LOL - to each his own, by I have a twisted little spin on why DH may have said ok...... Once he realized this.........
This other man and I share things in common that DH and I never will. DH is a sports nut. I would rather go to a museum or watch masterpiece theater. My new friend writes poetry and likes to dance with me. DH? HA! But I love things about my DH that BF will never have.
Maybe he assumes your friend is GAY and just hasn't dropped it on you yet, so no biggie!
Good luck with it all!
that's really something.
I'm not even going to go into the actual subject of your post...
....but you chose to share this with us why?
I was thinking the same thing about your kids as well. Even if they are never around the "other person", they will catch on to what is going on. When I was growing up, life was not fun when my parents were still married and staying together just because of the kids. They never came out and said "I have a boyfriend/girlfriend" or whatever, but even at 9 years old I could tell something was going on. My life was so much easier and happier after they got divorced.
If you say your motive isn't purely sexual, why not just have a friendship with this man? Or have another friend do the things you like to do with you. I think it's healthy for people to do the things they like to do apart from each other sometimes, but what you are planning sounds to me like a one way trip to a nasty divorce and hurting your children's feelings.
Even if you and your DH both agree on this situation now, who's to say that he won't use it against you later in a nasty divorce. If you are gonna go through with this, I would write an agreement up detailing the "rules" and both of you sign it and get copies. That way if he does try to use it against you in the future you have proof that he agreed to it in the first place.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
LOL! I told BF that he would make a great Gay Man! He said is d!ck didnt work that way. We had a good laugh.
You guys keep missing that I actually LOVE my DH VERY much...baseball or not. Who are YOU to define LOVE anyway? I don't WANT to END my marriage. Yes, that means I want my cake and to eat it too.
I think is sweet that you are trying to talk me out of this, thank you. I know you are only concerned. I promise not to rush into anything. The reason I told you.....because I needed to get it out to someone and I can't exactly discuss this IRL. I am in disbelief. I feel very lucky.
I have a date to get ready for. Thanks all for the concern. Thanks for letting me get it out without too much judgement passed.
ok, I think the only reason that your dh agreed to this is because he's probably got something going on, on the side too...
Hey, whatever floats your boat I guess.
Good Luck...this should turn out great! Have you put down a retainer on a good divorce lawyer yet?
Good luck dear! I just hope I don't come back a few months or so from now to read about your impending divorce.
Just so you know - I have 2 seperate couples who are my friends that have very open relationships. One has been together for almost 9 years and the other 7. Obviously something is working with them.
I totally understand and wish you all the luck in the world. Maybe this will work with you two. Enjoy life, just be responsible.
Obviously your husband is gay and is just happy someone else can "service" his wife so he doesn't have to have yucky sex with a woman.
Have a blast on your "date"! Make sure he wears protection.
I was concerned when you posted this because alot of people responded the way that I expected them to.
Remember if you acutally do something Taboo in your marriage then you are headed for divorce... geez people... not everyone is insecure in their marriages...
Updated 20 hours ago
I don't know, if you can't completely be yourself with your husband of 11 years maybe there are issues that you are not addressing. To think that dating other men is going to make you "complete" might set you up for disappointment. There are so many different scenarios that could pop up and you are the one who came up with the brilliant idea.
What are you going to do when your dh meets a woman on the internet, she's beautiful, a sports nut as well and he starts spendiing all of his time with her? Don't say it can't happen or it won't because it might. The same goes for you. What if you fall in love with this new man.
I'd buckle up because you are in for a wild ride. I'm not going to bash you or tell you that you are making a really stupid decision but like pps said above, don't come back here crying when your marriage falls apart.
If you make it work more power to you, but I can't even imagine telling my husband he's not doing it for me and that I want to date other men to fill the voids that he doesn't reach.
And the fact that your husband didn't flinch leads me to believe you just gave him the green light for the woman he's already dating.
I really think that you should talk this out with someone you trust IRL. It seems like an awfully big step to take and it seems sudden. If you don't have anyone maybe a cousellor or marriage counsellor? Just to make sure you're really on the same page? I also don't understand why the other guy would want to get involved with this.
I usually try to be non judgemental but I don't think I can about this. What are you crazy? How will you feel if this does ruin your marriage. Is it really worth throwing away. I hope if it doesn't work that your kids will not find out the reason. I am sure I would think many not so nice things about my mother if she did what you are about to do.
I don't think it is a matter of insecurity. I think people have been rather non-judgemental for the subject matter.
Im sorry (no wait...Im not), but if you cant "get" the things from you DH that you do with "BF", then why dont you just have FRIENDS? Thats what my friends are for. DH doesnt want to watch girly movies, go shopping just to look around, go to art festivals, etc... then I GO WITH MY FRIENDS. Ya know, "to each their own..." but this is WRONG. Plain & Simple. & quite disgusting to come to an internet forum to discuss it. no one wants to hear all about your affair!
I am just curious if this guy lives in the same town, and what would happen if your friends or family saw the two of you together? It's one thing to have the "understanding" with your spouse, but your/DH's friends and family may not be so forgiving.
Leslie
I know what I would be thinking if I saw one of my married friends out on a date with someone else. *cough* slut *cough*
Plain & Simple. & quite disgusting to come to an internet forum to discuss it. no one wants to hear all about your affair!
It's not an affair cause her husband knows about it.... and I want to hear ALL about it.... please don't speak for the entire BHB memebers...
Thank you
Updated 18 hours ago
What if your BF falls in love with you? Will he be satisfied just being "the other man?" For how long? As others have said, what if your DH dates and falls in love with another woman who does share more with him than you (if he hasn't already)?
Everything may seem perfect right now, but it could get very ugly very quickly. I'm glad you're communicating with your DH. You'll need it. The idea of getting things in writing is not a bad one if the conversations turn to accusations or cold shoulders.
I am only on page 2, but don't want to lose my thought.
It definitely speaks volumes. Volumes about how little you care for your husband that you would be willing to sleep with/be with someone else. Volumes about how little your husband cares for you that he is unwilling to give you "the things you don't get" from him now. He'd rather allow you to sleep with someone else than go out of his way to give you what you need.
Goody! You should blog about it! I can't wait to read the details, the ground rules and all the other great things to come!
Also, I really am getting the feeling you're using these things you have in common with your "BF" as a cover just wanting sex. As many have pointed out, friends do things together, have fun together. More than friends have feelings and physical relations with each other.
I understand how marriages get into a rut. I've been with the same man for 8 years.I guess I could understand it feeking nice to get attention from other people, I am sure, and maybe little exciting to talk about , or thinking about...I get that..I can get how that might be exciting to you. And yes even though I've been with my DH for so many years, I remember that excitment of a first date, and miss that...but to go thru with that? IMO that's just asking for a divorse.
But, you know, if you truely love your husband, I just don't see how you could betray him like that. Just imagine the shoe on the other foot.
**Sidenote** I also find it a little wierd this is posted i the bargain hunters section and begins with i'm not a troll..." ;)
I know what I would be thinking if I saw one of my married friends out on a date with someone else. *cough* slut *cough*
That's funny cause my Best Friend is a guy (no I am not sleeping with him.. he's been my friend since we were 9 years old) and when people see me out with him they are quick to call my husband and call me slut and all that stuff... When little do they no there is NOTHING SEXUAL about my relationship with him... so before you jump and call someone a *cough* slut *cough* make sure that she is actually a *cough* slut *cough*
Well even if her husband knows... I am afraid it is still an affair. As affair has been defined...
An affair may refer to a form of nonmonogamy, to infidelity or to adultery.
Just to clarify.
I don't think it is judgmental to call it an affair... that is what is happening.
If your boyfriend is such a prize, why would he settle for playing second fiddle to the husband of the woman he loves?
But ultimately, whatever you guys agree to is between the two (three?) of you. Just keep communicating. I just can't imagine leaving my husband home with the baby while I go out dancing with another man.
I'm with Miss 1984 on that one. Most of my friends are guys (think the show My Boys). I am out with them all the time. Many times, DF is with, sometimes not.
But then, we all are from the school that Guys and Girls CAN be JUST FRIENDS. My BFF of 9yrs is a guy.
Well I know if I see some married chick kissing up on another man I'm thinking *cough slut cough*. I hang out with guys too so I didn't take that comment like that. That's why I gave it a lmao. Married and all up on some man = slut to me. Out with a guy dancing drinking eating whatever = fun with a friend to me.
So your husband just agreed to this last night, and now you're on a date? Don't you think maybe you should wait a little while to make sure he was serious about wanting to do it?
I'm not one to judge, and I know it works for some people. I also know that jumping into something without letting it digest for a little while is a really, really bad idea.
Exodus 20:14 You shall not commit adultery.
I'm not judging (because I've been there myself) just asking you to please think about it a while longer before you do something you'll regret later. God tells us what the right decision is in every situation. He does this because He knows there are consequences that come from certain actions and behaviors. It's for our own good and the good of all humanity that He has set these guidelines for living not because He wants to be hard and strict. Ask yourself if you are willing to suffer the consequences. If you are then....whatever, but if not.....Don't do it!!
you may say that you love your husband but I personally don't think that you do and either does your husband, when their is love in a relation the least thing in your mind is having fun with someone else, you should be thinking is how doyou spice up your life with my DH, what can you do to make this more exiting , I don't believe in lating your husband date or of you to date someone else, like other girls said is disrespectful to your husband and your family, if you have feelings for your ex, then you don't truly love your DH,
my advise to you i is to seek counseling you both, because if don't think you have enough things in common with your DH, and you're not having fun with him and this is why you need some-else to feel that space in your life you shouldn't be together and waist each other's time..
Just an opinion
Married and all up on some man - well if you saw me and my bestfriend dance you would call me a slut... My DH does NOT dance but my BF LOVES to dance... when we go out we are all over the dancefloor (yes even with my hubby there)..... Heck I have gone on vacation with my BF and we slept in the same HOTEL ROOM.... (separate beds) people can call me a slut.... but I have a trusting relationship with my Husband... I love my husband and would never cheat on him...
Updated 18 hours ago
wow is right.... is it just me or is this seriously lacking in morals? an affair is still an affair no matter how it is sugar coated or whether you're given "permission". he's just looking for an excuse to have an affair himself. whatever happened to fidelity??? i know this is probably not a popular viewpoint, but someone should speak up for the sanctity of marriage!
I dont believe in god, so siting bible references are not going to make much difference.
I know this is totally bitchy but I HAVE to!!!!!
be together and waist each other's time
the word is WASTE
I personally could agree to this for DH, but my Dh would never let it happen. I've just never been possesive, and he knows that. DH? THAT A STORY FOR ANOTHER DAY!!
I do understand you wanted to hang with someone who shares your interests. Hopefully that will be enough. While others talk about DH I wonder how 'possesive' BF might be.
Men can't get angry when they want somethin all to themselves, whether or not he had it first. (which makes for a good arguement) Just make sure BF is not interested in making waves that would leave to 'stay away order'. Think of the kiddos first.
I heare Will & Jada Smith have an open marriage. Word around town is he hit Ms. Theron.
Brandy
If someone wants to have an open realtionship why does that mean that their marriage is doomed... What if I am not religious and don't give a rats ass about the bible and it's 'rules' and the fact that people choose to follow some and not all... (but that is another discussion)...
If 2 consenting adults agree to have sex with other consenting adults then how is that wrong... how can you deem this woman's marriage a failure?
I would love to see some of you women at Desire resort in Mexico... where couples go to have sex with other couples and be nude on the beach and have sex whereever and whenever they feel like and not be judged by other people.... Oh wait you couldn't go because you would be judging them
To the OP: There are many people who have open marriages and live long and happy lives together...
Yes Will and Jada have an open marriage.... I would love to be in the middle of that hot sandwich.
I love when people site the sanctity of marriage... How can anyone say what is right or wrong in another persons marriage/relationship....
Some people like to get pee'd on... personally i think it's gross but if 2 people enjoy taking a wizz on eachother and it makes them happy then why should they stop because some 'people' think it's wrong....
Well if I see a guy and girl out that I know I say hi. And unless I know the nature of the relationship, i don't worry about it. Not my man, not my issue. You never know what is going on within a relationship or between 2 people.
If i saw my friend's hubby out with another woman and they were sucking face or something I would have a different reaction.
I'm glad I haven't ever been in that position.
I will say me and DB both love to dance and if one is tired, we do our thing with whoever wants to dance. We know who we go home with at the end of the night so it doesnt even bother me if we dont sit next to each other the whole night and are off talking to the opposite sex somewhere. Okay, now I dont even know why I am still talking! lol
So your husband just agreed to this last night, and now you're on a date? Don't you think maybe you should wait a little while to make sure he was serious about wanting to do it?
I'm not one to judge, and I know it works for some people. I also know that jumping into something without letting it digest for a little while is a really, really bad idea.
That's exactly what I was thinking.
And wandg2 if you are still on here reading I would love to hear the answers to the questions about the kids others have asked.
Was your dh actually really serious? I could see my dh and I having this conversation in a totally sarcastic way but I would NEVER cheat on my husband. This post is disturbing. Good luck, I hope you have as happy of a divorce. Either your dh has something on the side, or he is heading for divorce and this will put him in a really awesome spot for that!
Updated 17 hours ago
I'm reading BF as boy friend not best friend or male who is a friend, so IMO all the posters defending having friends of the opposite sex are kind of missing the point of the OP. The OP is looking for a relationship, physical AND emotional..
OT but all of you mommies and wives who get to go out and party and have fun...how?! LOL Who stays home with the kids? Dh? Do you all take turns or something? I just find it interesting because that wouldn't happen in my relationship.
Anyways, I do think ppl of opposite sex CAN be friends, but honestly how would you like to see your husband dancing that way with a woman who is not you?
wang2
This just cracked me up. Yes, you do have two wangs now don't you?
I hope that whatever happens your kids don't get caught in the middle.
I too feel bad for the kids. My mom was single and had a LOT of men in and out of our house. I HATED it and I hated her for a long time for it. So I'm sure your kids will be so proud when they figure out what's going on. They will blame YOU for the break up of the family.
awesome that you guys haev that level of trust, it takes alot to be in that kind of relationship. I have a friend who is married, her and her husband are in a relationship with another married couple and it works fantasticly for them. Personally I don't think I would be able to devote the time to another relationship in my life.
if the trust is there, theres nothing wrong with it, at the end of the day you know who you love, who your going home to and who you're raising your kids with.
stay safe and keep communicating!!!
miss 1984 if there is nothing sexual with your relationship you don't have to worry about the slut title. If I saw a married person out making out with someone else then they desereve the slut title. Its fine to have friends of the opposite sex - as long as it's just friends.
I love how people are saying that her marriage is going to end.. How do YOU know that... They have been married for 11 years and she had thesae feelings and talked to her husband about it and they came to a mutual agreement.
People are here saying oh then you have no love in your marriage and your kids are going to blame you for the divorce...
GIVE ME A BREAK...
HOW CAN YOU TELL SOMEONE WHAT IS GOOD FOR THEIR MARRIAGE...
In my marriage, I like women and my husband loves that I love women... I don't do anything infront of my son... and I am sure you people don't have sex infront of your kids....
We can't tell someone forsure what is good or bad for their marriage but we sure can all have our own onions about something like this.
yeah it's one thing to have your opinion and it is another thing to outright disrespect someone's marriage and I can C&P things that people typed on here that is disrespectful to the OP....
Someones a little touchy about this subject. I think it is hitting a little close to home.
I think majority of people here would agree that having a bf or gf on the side would be disrespecting marriage.
Well Mr. T'smom, when I go out, DF and I hire a babysitter. They are these nifty little people, who if you pay enough, will WATCH the children for you, so YOU and YOUR HUSBAND can go out TOGETHER.
Seriously, how did people survive before now?
And no, I don't "sexy" dance with anyone besides my DF. But I have danced with other men and DF has danced with other women.
It's called trust. We haz it.
Updated 16 hours ago
Hey did she ever give the run down on her "date"?
I needz to know how that shit went.
PS: Any guess on who this poster is?
Well seeing as I am touchy on the subject.. I know ALOT of swinging couples (not because I swing but because of my line of work).. I work in Tourism. (Surpizingly by biggest sellers are Hedonism and Desire.. so there are more people out there with this lifestyle than you may think)
I have trust with my DH (An old Jamaican saysing... what done in darkness must come to light)
I have a live in nanny... yep she actually lives in my house Mon - Sat (But no she doesn't raise my child for me... I have a job where I have to work late and sometimes if there are emergencies I have to leave at odd hours)... Anyway
Oh and DH and I don't swing... but me likey the ladies and so sometimes we may have a third in on some action.... and no it doesn't bother me when I see another woman with my hubby...cause I;m there too and that is alot of fun..... 
Oh how I miss NMU
Ok, I've only read up to page 7 of everyone's responses, so I don't know if anyone has touched on this aspect yet. If yes, my apologies for the repeat. If not...
You have children involved. What if one of their friends' parents was out and saw you out on a date with another man, making out with him, whatever? What if, unlike you, they believed in the sanctity of their marriage vows, didn't agree with what you're doing, and will no longer let their child play with your own?
I believe, whole heartedly, that this is a totaly act of selfishness on your part. What's worse is your blatant disregard for the effect this will UNDOUBTEDLY have on your children. There is no "if" factor. Starting with tonight, and your first official "date", you are putting your children out there to be judged and hurt by the actions of their obviously selfish mother. And though your DH has yet to go out and "date" someone else, the fact that he's ok with this does, indeed, speak "volumes" about your relationship.
Honestly, more than anything, I pity you. You've convinced yourself that this is a good thing, simply because you want it to be. You're wrong, though, and I pity you.
Oh, my favorite kind of posters are the ones who judge the judgers. LOL. Very best comments those are.
Good grief. Grow up. This isn't a HS stag dance where you dance with everyone. This is the family you created with a purpose. You step out, you remove one of the foundation blocks. It could all crumble and you would have done it all for a few "carefree" nights with some stud. Classy. I hope the purchase is worth the price on that shopping trip.
I have family who the wife wanted to and did stuff like this. Her kids are all grown now, and the most self-centered, selfish kids you could imagine. And who could blame them, mom's freedom was more important than their security and family structure, why wouldn't they believe their needs were the most important ever? They learned it from their mother.
Maybe he agreed because he knows someone he wants to start seeing.. he was probably thinking "SCORE!".
Srsly. I have no desire for a boyfriend. I have my hands full with dh. What I would like is a wife. I wonder if dh would be on board for that?
Okay I am seriously sick of having to figure out where I left off.
Anyway, I guess do whatever you need to do for your relationship. The odds really are against you, and as long as you go into this knowing the risks, then that is your choice.
Well no one has the right to judge. If your DH is cool with it and your happy. Well I wish you all the best.
I bet he's already got a girlfriend and that's why he said yes. Or he's a masochist. Either way, YOU WIN! LOL
What a joke.
Updated 15 hours ago
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